The Moral Dilemma of Swiper the Fox

Yes, you read this right, Swiper the fox should be cowering in his fox hole right now contemplating his morality. Dora too! Though, probably not in a fox hole.

One of the recent topics of discussion between Brad and I has been morality, work ethic, generosity and other characteristic traits and qualities. The topic was born from Pappy’s passing and preparing for his eulogy. As most eulogies go, Pappy’s highlighted his best quality’s and commented on how he passed those qualities on to his children, grandchildren and great-grandchildren. The question later arose between Brad and I: How are these traits and qualities passed on? Are they shown by example? Taught as lessons from our parents? There are varying interpretations of these lesions as Brad and I looked at our siblings and our parent’s siblings. Are we genetically dispositioned to carry on the traits of those before us? We wondered how as parents, we were suppose to “activate” these traits, live by example and teach the intangible lesions that build the framework of a good human being. How do we hone in on true north?

We didn’t come up with any concrete answers but rather that we need to have this type of discussion with the kids (at their level of course) and that we need to lead by example. We also decided that we need to be open and honest with the kids when we are faced with moral dilemmas as adults. Letting them see our conflicts and our ultimate decisions and how they affect us. (This means my accidental klepto days are over – come on mom’s how many of you have gotten to the car after leaving the Target check out with kids in melt down mode only to realize that the $3 bottle of hand lotion you grabbed was laying under your purse? With full tantrum in effect do you return back into the store or just chock it up to a mistake and chuck it into your car along with your kids?)

This brings me to the Dora dilemma. I’m a TV mom, always have been, I personally like having the TV on and think that for the most part kids shows do a great job of teaching life, reading, math and other preschool type of lessons. My kids LOVE Dora. They watch it daily and have our DVR set to record all the episodes with special instructions not to delete their favorites. The list of favorites includes Star Mountain, Dora’s Ballet adventure and recently Swiper’s big adventure: Swiper the explorer. The last one is what they were watching the other day and for the first time, I really paid attention to the subject and the corresponding “discussion” the girls had during the show.

*Warning, this is way analytical, over the top and just demonstrates my ability to deconstruct something totally benign and turn it into something big.

If you know Dora the Explorer then you know Swiper the Fox. He’s the wily nemesis of Dora who goes thru each episode at about the half way point and tries to steal something of Dora’s. Yes, steal. They call it “swiping” but really it’s stealing. Swiper sneaks up on Dora and whoever she’s helping for the day and attempts to swipe something from them. The group puts up their hands and yells “Swiper no swiping, Swiper no swiping!” and Swiper snaps his fingers and says “Oh Man!” for being foiled in his attempts at the last second. These are some of the catch phrases of the show. My girls know them by heart. They know the sneaking music that starts before Swiper appears.

In Swipers Big Adventure, Dora finds a lost baby fox and vows to help it find its mommy and daddy. Swiper appears early in this episode followed by his usual chorus of “Swiper no swiping!” Except this time, Swiper coo’s over the baby fox and asks if he can help Dora return the baby home. Yea, Swiper’s going to help!

This would be a great spot for a moral lesson to the kids about how Swiper’s going to turn a new leaf. Graduate from a life of crime to one of helping kids. They could showcase how he can help, maybe have him return things along the way. But, nope, that’s not what they do. Instead, they have the standard 3 stops before they reach the end location and the standard 3 obstacles they have to overcome. In this episode, to overcome each obstacle, Swiper has to swipe something. For example, there’s a pile of coconuts in the way and Swiper volunteers to swipe them out of the way. Yea! Swiper’s the hero for stealing the coconuts.

Do you see my issue here? We spend all the other Dora’s teaching the kids that swiping is bad. Then, when it fits Dora’s needs, we condone his stealing. So, it’s ok to steal when you yourself are trying to do something good? (*I know, I told you this was a bit over the top) I kid you not, when Dora suggested that Swiper swipe the coconuts, Kenna shouted “Swiper no swiping! Swiper no swiping!” Then Hailey turned to Keanna and reminded her that it was ok for Swiper to swipe because he was helping to return the baby fox to his home.

Ugh!

Do the ends justify the means? Is it ok to do something wrong, against the rules or bad if your end result is something good? In some cases yes, but how do you teach a child to differentiate?

I’ll give you another example. This one is a bit harder and much more public. The death of Osama Bin Laden. Thousands, maybe millions of people celebrated his death, his killing. This was the conversation I had to muddle thru with Anthony the other day when we overheard another news report on the subject:

Anthony: “Mom, who actually killed Osama Bin Laden?”

Me: “They are not saying exactly who, it was a group of special op’s solders under Obama’s direction.”

Anthony: “So Obama’s getting the credit?”

Me: “Well, sort of, as the President, he’s the leader of the Armed Forces.”

Anthony: “So, is he responsible for killing someone? Will he be the one going to jail?”

Me: “Well…..No, I mean, yes, he’s responsible for the solders actions, but no he won’t be going to jail.”

Anthony: “Who will? I thought if you killed someone, you went to jail? Why are people celebrating?”

Me: “You know who Osama was right? You know that he was responsible for the 9/11 attacks and killed hundreds of people because of it?”

Anthony: “Right.”

Long pause

Anthony: “So, because he killed the hundreds of people, we got to kill him?”

Ugh!

No one told me 10 years ago that parenting was going to be so difficult. How on earth do I explain to my son that we’re angry at Osama for killing and as retaliation we kill him? I’m not saying that Osama didn’t deserve to be punished for his horrific crimes to all of humanity but…I’m shaping the moral compass of future generations here. Is this situation that much different than the Dora example? Killing is wrong, but killing is ok if the person really deserves it. Stealing is wrong, but stealing is ok when you’re doing it to try and help someone. At what point does “really deserve it” get judged, who decides if you’re “help” to someone in need justifies you breaking the rules to do so? How do I reinforce true north while examples abound of veering off course when the ends justify the means?

Does Swiper have a pang of guilt every time he swipes, does he feel that compass needle veering off course? No, probably not, should he have had a pang of guilt when he swiped those coconuts with little baby fox watching in awe at his amazing swiping powers? What about when little baby fox mimicked Swiper and crooned in his little baby voice “Swipe, swipe, swipe!”

Parenting’s hard!

End of the school year

I'm so excited for the end of the school year. Every year I look forward to the lazy days of summer. No bed time, no alarm clocks, swimming and camping trips. Every year by the time summer is over I look forward to structure, schedules, routine and cold weather.
Anthony has an annual end of school party with his buddy's so we have that to look forward to on Thursday. He wants homemade pizzas, homemade chips and a brownie sunday bar with homemade ice cream. Yum! I think I'm spoiling the poor kid! I'll probably make the sauce, brownies and ice cream tomorrow and the dough Thursday.

Anthony is taking two classes this summer, a rock climbing and speed stacking and we are renting a xylophone for him to learn. The classes are just fun one week courses and the xylophone was part of his new years resolution for himself. In 5th grade kids have the option of joining band and that's the instrument he wants to learn. We also decided to continue his 4th grade money management lessons this summer so him and Alana (who spends most summer days with us) will be getting a check register to record their earnings and expenses. I'm making up a list of how much they will "get paid" for chores, extras, and achievements. There will also be payments due for electricity, computer usage, swimming, special dinners, etc. They will have the choice to start a savings register as well and at the end of each month Dad and I will match the savings money into a real savings account. At the end of each month they get to cash in for real money and go shopping.

Sounds like a really structured no fun summer huh! I'm a mean mom, but I promise they look forward to summer every year!

Moving but getting no where

I haven't sat down all day! I've been cleaning, reorganizing and purging. Can someone explain to me why my house looks like nothing got done? Really, if I knew it was still going to look like this by 8:30 I would have just sat on my butt and read my book all day. Instead, I worked all day and it only looks like I did nothing. Usually I strive for the opposite. Doing nothing all day except a few min's of cleaning only to have it look spotless! Ugh!

I'm sure there is some positive end of the tunnel, completing goal satisfaction I should be feeling right now but instead my anxiety is up because Brad is due home soon and the house looks messy! At least I have a good dinner waiting for him! Considering it's a crock pot meal though I can't even pat myself on the back because truly I didn't cook, Mrs. Crock Pot did.

Maybe if I lit a few candles and offered him a shoulder massage while he ate he wouldn't notice the laundry on the couch (I'm still mid fold) the floors that haven been vacuumed, the three huge laundry bins full of toys and junk I haven't sorted out or the boxes of trash that are residing in each room as I continually purge.

Would it be too weird to ask him to eat blindfolded?

If I could just get him to the bedroom I'd be in the clear. (No, dirty minds, not for 'that' reason) That's the only room that looks clean right now. I still haven't purged it yet which means I didn't move the bed, let the closet vomit onto the floor or dump out the bedside tables.

I hate spring cleaning; I love a spring cleaned house!

All day meatballs in under an hour

Today was a great day. We went back to music class for the first time in over a month and the girls were very engaged. Usually I have to chase one or the other around the store and defuse at least one melt down, but not today. Kenna did wonder off a bit after a trip to the bathroom but I don't count that since music class was technically over.

After class the girls and I surprised Brad and took him out to lunch. We didn't get home till after 1, so nap time was a bit late. Since the girls didn't get up till 4 from nap, we had a late dinner and watched a family movie. The girls and I also did our nails while we watched.

I put the spaghetti sauce in the crock pot early this morning but the meat for the meatballs was still frozen so I just planned on making them after music class. Given that we didn't get home till 1 or up till 4 (yes, I capitalized on nap time too!) I needed to make them fast.

All day meatballs in under an hour

1 lb ground beef
1 lb ground turkey
1 cup bread crumbs
1/4 cup parmesan cheese
1 egg
1 small onion, graded
2-3 garlic cloves, graded
2 tbsp dried oregano
1/4 cup itallian seasoning
1 tsp salt
3/4 cup tomato sauce


Heat oven to 375. Remove 3/4 cup of sauce from your crock pot and let cool.

(You don't make your own sauce? You really should, but if not, put two jars of your favorite commercial sauce into a crock pot on low with 1/4 cup itallian seasoning and 2 tsp sugar and let simmer for 4-6 hrs - trust me!)

Mix all ingredients, shape into meatballs and place on a lightly greased cookie sheet. Bake for 25 min's then add to the crock pot with the sauce. Let cook for at least 30 min's. The longer they simmer in the sauce the better! Prefect!

Moving forward

Onward and upward
Back to life, back to reality
Just keep swimming, just keep swimming
To infinity and beyond....

Ok, sorry, I've had phrases like that stuck in my head all weekend. This week is hopefully going to be the start of the return to normalcy. Or, for those that think my 1950's ways are crazy, this would be the return to abnormalcy.

Today was a run to the dump (normally a major Man-chore) and then onto the grocery store. Tomorrow we have music class, Wednesday is a play-date (quaint huh?!?) then bunco. Thursday is swimming, and Friday is a trip to a newly renovated park in our area. I'm sure there's more but I can't think of it now.

I plan on tackling more of my spring cleaning list this week since I think it's officially considered summer I really need to finish or just rename it to Summer Cleaning list.

My weekly meal plan is:

Monday - Grilled BBQ chicken, corn on the cob, grilled onions and fruit salad
Tuesday - Homemade spaghetti sauce with meatballs
Wednesday - Crockpot pot roast with mini-potatoes
Thursday - Beef tacos
Friday - French toast casserole, eggs, hash browns, bacon and sausage

Hand

This hand fought in WWII and was an engineer on the Great American Railway
This hand touched world leaders and held soldiers in last breath
This hand was betrothed to a woman of legend, who captured it's heart
This hand raised children, held grandchildren and tickled great grandchildren
This hand clutched the bible and taught scriptures and psalms
This hand grew grand tomatoes and turned pages of westerns and romances
This hand knew how to tune a short wave radio and scan the channels of a CB radio
This hand hunted, fished, hitched rides and fiddled with generators
This hand drove trains, cars, motor homes and steered boats
This hand tinkered and fixed, broke things in mischief and humbly replaced
This hand dried tears after loss of a wife, brothers and friends gone before
This hand was strong and provided for many, rarely opened in request, but often reached in aid
Calloused and soft, tough and tender
This hand held mine as I grieved the loss of the life slipping out of it
This hand touched my heart


Goodby Pappy.
Thank you for raising the son who helped give life to the man I married, who blessed me with being related to you. We will miss you.

The traps of guilt

I'm blogging this morning from the beauty of our neighborhood park. The girls are running free and wild with their uncombed hair and self-picked mismatched clothes. If one of them had insisted on bringing a blanket I'm sure passers by would assume we slept here.






Ask me if I care this morning? Nope! Friday night we were with Pappy until 11p, Saturday night we were at the Centurions party and didn't get to bed until 2am and last night I spent the night holding Pappy's hand so he didn't try to get out of bed. Needless to say I'm really looking forward to nap time today and am hoping that this little jaunt to the park will result in at least a 2 hour nap! The least of my current concerns is the tidiness of my raga-muffins.

Friday night after leaving Pappy's, my sister-in-law and I decided to sneak over to Applebees to toast the night with a half price cocktail. It's rare that we get a chance to be together without at least two kids in tow so we jumped on the opportunity despite our already weary state. Our conversation was very interesting, we were talking about family values and the guilt that can accompany not following your instincts even when your actions are polar opposite to the situation. Let me explain: Pappy has spent most of his life a hardened isolist. That's not to say that he wasn't surrounded by family but if you turned your back, Pappy would slip out without so much as a good-by. He was never one to initate a hug and would often only return it with a stiff one arm over the shoulder. He enjoyed watching the grandkids play but was not a cuddly grandpa. He covered every inch of his home with family pictures and in general, spent more time looking at the pictures than with the people in the images.The conundrum this is leading up to is comfort in his final hours. When my grandfather was at this state years ago, he was never left alone in his room and always had at least one of us holding his hand. But, he was a physically affectionate person and thus raised my mom the same way who in turn raised me to be so. My core instincts are to treat Pappy the same. I find it difficult to see Pappy and not hold his hand or rub his back, so I do. He doesn't often push me away and many times grips onto my hand until some portion of my leg or arm is completely asleep. The question is though, is this comfort for me or for him? Are his reactions a genuine comfort with my touch or just simply an uncontrollable physical reaction from a failing body. If he were mentally aware, would he move away from my hand, tell me to leave him to sleep or to go home? Knowing how he was in previous years before the cancer took hold, maybe he would. I guess there's no way to really answer any of those. For now, I want to believe for my own sake that he does find comfort in the physical affection and on some level appreciates my ease of touch toward someone who spent most of his life choosing to be physically reserved. Maybe it's just to ease my own guilt. Guilt that, if he would prefer me not to touch him, is completely misplaced, yet because of my upbringing, it's guilt I'm wracked with none the less.

(Thank goodness the sangrias come in the fish bowl glasses, it was a heavy topic! Then again, maybe it's a good thing the topic was heavy so we had time to process the alcohol before going home.)

My kids are either going to grow up immune to guilt because I over do it or they're totally screwed and will feel guilt like I do only magnified from their own upbringing.

Randomness

I assume everyone understands my recent blogging absence is due to the whole death issue I posted about before. But if not, that’s why. My mother-in-law's sister did pass away, God rest her soul. Pappy, the stubborn ‘ol man, is still hanging in there. We’ve been spending a lot of time over at his house with him and his son's, Brad's dad and brother.  At this point, we are all hoping that his suffering ends soon. He is just miserable as is everyone watching the tumors eat away at him. Sometimes I think this is God’s way of having us left here on earth ‘want’ for our loved ones to pass. We hate seeing them suffer so we actually wish for death to claim them. It’s kind of God’s way of helping us cope. That’s not to say that a sudden death is any easier or harder, any death is painful and heartbreaking no matter how it’s dealt.  

Other than being with Pappy, I’ve had a lot of nervous energy so I’ve actually accomplished a bit this week. The accomplishments have all been random though. I’ve cleaned out my fridge, but not my freezer, baked cookies but not anything banana based even though I have a 30 lb box of bananas. I’ve scoured our bathroom but not our room. Done all the laundry but not put away the kids clothes. I’m a bit scattered this week. I spent all Tuesday in mega mode, moving constantly, feeling really accomplished but when Brad came home and asked what I did I couldn’t tell him what occupied my entire day. Sad huh!

This weekend we have the Centurions party. Its an annual themed party hosted by a group of local businesses, attended by over 2000 people and it’s a total blast! We look forward to it every year and despite everything else, this year is no exception. This year’s theme is Prohibition. I don’t think the guys are going to dress up but Sasha and I are going as flappers. I’m making the costumes for us so check back and I’ll share a picture or two. Assuming I don’t screw them up royally!

Sunday is also Mothers day as I’m sure everyone is aware. I love that Centurions is Saturday night and Mothers day is Sunday. That means I get to sleep in! Yeppie! We’re having dinner here Sunday evening which means Brad’s grilling something yummy. Not sure what yet, I’m sure in our inebriated state Saturday night we’ll come up with something yummy.

The kids are unfortunately doing the babysitter shuffle as I spend time over at Pappys but fortunately they’re having a good time with Aunt Sasha, grandparents and cousins. I don’t think Anthony is coping well with all the drama. I got a note from his teacher yesterday saying that he’s beginning to act out in class. I talked to him a bit last night when I got home but we promised to spend some time together this weekend talking. He said that he’s having a hard time doing his work because all he wants to do is be outside playing. For Anthony, that means his brain’s in overload. He spends hours outside at our house walking around the swing set and swinging while thinking and talking to himself. Sometimes he’s re-enacting movies or books, sometimes he’s working thru a math problem or science question, but sometimes I think he’s dealing with deeper issues too. My guess is that he’s having a hard time coping with everything and unconsciously he wants time outside to sort it all out. Hopefully we can get him thru the last few weeks of school with out further incident and work on other coping mechanisms this summer. Fifth grade is going to be even more self-directed than fourth and he’s going to start being influenced by hormones and girls pretty soon. He’s going to need some serious coping abilities.

Camping Trip

Well, that was exhausting! Someone remind me next time I want to introduce my 2 and 3 year old to tent camping not to do it with 50 ten year old boys and 30 adults. It was total chaos. The camp out was a family camp with Anthony's Boy Scouts troop. There were lots of parents but only a handfull of siblings and none as young as our girls.

Makenna ended up being a total princess. She couldn’t sleep on the “ard” ground so instead she ended up sleeping laid out over me and Brad the first night causing us to get little to no sleep. Hailey hated being in jeans and was upset every morning that she couldn’t put on a twirlarina dress. Friday we were able to compromise by letting her wear her gold sparkle slip on shoes around the camp, Saturday it was a bow in her hair and on her shirt and Sunday it was leggings instead of jeans. Some battles weren’t worth it.

Saturday morning at about 9am both girls were in total melt down mode from not having slept well the night before and my patience were running thin. Not a good combo with 80 people mulling about. So, since camp was only about 20 min’s from home, I took the girls and headed home for nap time. Unfortunately, neither napped very well and the shower didn’t perk them up as much as I’d hoped but we were determined to keep trying so I drove them back to camp about 3pm. They went on a hike with Brad and had a great time for that 30 min’s but right about sunset, Makenna was a total mess. The boys were trying to do skits around the fire and tell jokes and no one could hear because of Makenna’s whining. We tried stuffing her full of marshmallows and smores but that only gave us a few moments of peace until the sugar rush added to the chaos. Opps, didn’t think that one thru. After 30 min’s of screaming in the tent, we finally got her settled down on the air mattress that I had to inflate at home and drive up the mountain for the princess. The boys were running off their sugar high using their glow sticks as light sabers so we finally fell asleep at about 10:30. Makenna woke up at midnight screaming like a howler monkey again so Brad and I extricated her and Hailey back to the car and I drove them home again.

Back up the next morning after a seriously strong dose of coffee, we packed everything up and enjoyed watching two perfect princesses helping, being kind and happy campers. Ugh! Luckily, Grannie and B-pa offered to let the girls stay with them for the afternoon so Brad, Anthony and I could get some rest before family dinner Sunday night.

See, exhausting!

The highlights?

Driving my new car!

The other major highlight was Anthony.. He made me so proud several times. He was a great big brother, trying lots of different things to make the girls happy, coloring with them, chasing them around, showing them interesting plants or bugs around camp. He even picked up another “little sister” who fell in love with him and followed him everywhere. He was the first boy to jump in and help during his den’s KP duty. He volunteered to sleep on the floor in his sleeping bag giving me his cot. It was also encouraging to see him surrounded by his peers out in the wild. It helped convince me that he is not an alien just a typical 10 year old boy.

Anthony cuddling Hailey by the camp fire early in the morning

Coloring with the girls

 Anthony helping prep dinner - notice the other boys wandering around in the backround?

 Anthony way out over the wash and up the opposite hillside

Brad and I both really enjoy camping and grew up doing it so it's important to us that our kids have the same memorys but sheesh, maybe we need to wait just a bit longer. I think an adults only camp is in order to make up for not getting to cuddle by the fire, lay under the stars, wake up to nature not screaming. 

Death

I know that’s not a very pleasant subject, let alone a subject title but unfortunately it’s something that’s close to us right now. Brad’s grandfather, Pappy, or Happy as the kids call him, is 90 years old and ending his battle with cancer. He has lived a good life and has accepted that this is his end and I believe he is at peace with it. He is still alert and able to talk with us, is not in significant pain but is nearing the end very soon. We have known that he has cancer for a while, has been on hospice for a little over a month now but still it somehow feels like this has all snuck up on us. Truly, we all accept that this the end, we know he’s ready so that helps us be at peace, but it’s still death.

Death. Such a harsh word. The finally to life on earth.

It brings more emotions to the surface and forces each of us to reflect on our own feelings of personal death, death of other loved ones and the quality of the lives we’ve been gifted with. That’s a lot of heavy thinking.

Bring kids into the mix and it makes it just that much more difficult. Kids at any age, including myself at 30 years old still have a hard time thinking of “my grown-up’s” passing away. When faced with loosing a generation everyone feels like a kid again.

On top of Pappy’s emanate passing, Helen, Brad’s mom is also dealing with the soon to come passing of her oldest sibling. Helen is one of 10 children whose parents are still alive and well. The oldest sister was battling cancer and is the final stages of her life. Like Pappy, she has had a great life, great loves and many children, grandchildren and great-grandchildren. None the less, it’s still taking its toll on everyone to be faced with two lives coming to a close. My children do not know Helen’s sister well as she lives out of state but it is still difficult to know that Nanna (Helen) is losing a sister. Anthony’s comment was “I would cry for ever if I lost one of my sisters.” It broke my heart because I know that ‘forever’ in his definition is not a reality yet none the less, I’m confident that Helen and the rest of her siblings are feeling the same in their hearts. It also pains me that Anthony had to contemplate that thought to come up with that statement.

As a parent to multiple children it has been an interesting observation for me to watch both situations. Both Pappy and Marion, Helen’s sister, are enveloped by their siblings. Pappy’s sister is 86 years old and not in the greatest of health herself, yet she has practically moved in with Pappy to help take care of him and he still try’s to take care of her. When we were at Pappy’s house yesterday he was having a hard time hearing Brad and I even with his hearing aids but he appeared to hear every word his sister Francis said. They bickered over silly things and had the exact same eye roll that my kids give each other now. Yet, there was an obvious deep routed bond between the siblings.

Marion’s brothers and sisters have all rallied around her to celebrate her life, help take care of anything they can, support Marions children and just simply hold her hand. They have all in turn, multiple times and sometimes together, traveled to see her through out her short cancer battle despite what ever was happing with their own families, financial situations, jobs or any other potential obstacles. The bonds of blood run deep and it appears they tend to resurface with fierceness when faced with loss.

I know this is not always the case and the question arose as to whether or not this is a generational thing or something that knows no boundary. When I’m long gone, God willing I will be before my children ever are, will my kids rally together to support each other like this? Is it a value I need to work on instilling on them? Should I be pointing out my current observation in hopes of planting the seed in their memories? Or is this one of those things that should just be considered a blood drive. Something we do with out conscious thought or objection, something done and felt all the way down to the blood coursing thru our body.

The other thing that has been heavy on my mind for a while is the obvious passage of time and how it forces me to be an adult more so than I ever considered. Most of you, readers, are the same age as me, 30-ish (ick!) so that means your parents are also in the 50-60 range, making your grandparents 70-80 range. Now is the time in our lives when we will most likely be saying goodbye to our grandparents and in the next 20-30 years most of us will have to say goodbye to our parents. How am I supposed to do that? How do I not have my mom here? How do I say goodbye to my dad?

 It breaks my heart to see my father-in-law grapple with these very questions now as his father, Pappy, is packing his proverbial bags. My mom is forever altered after the loss of her father; my step-mom is still actively working thru the grieving process after her father’s recent passing. Are we ever really ready to be “grown-up?” To not have our parents? I talk to my step-dad every day; I call him for everything for cooking advice, to funny stories to fix-it solutions. Who will I turn to when he and the rest of that generation are gone? How will I know how to answer those questions when my children are in my spot and are calling me or Brad for those same types of questions. I don’t have all the answers yet, how am I supposed to respond? At what point do I age enough, grow up big enough to be the Parent? Where do I turn when I don’t know the answer to my 40 year old daughter’s questions? Is that where my siblings come back into play? Relying on each others collective knowledge of life to answer those questions?

Even now, I’m grappling with how to prepare my children for the passing of Pappy. I find myself turning to my grown-up’s who have lost their father’s, to my mom who has had to prepare my brothers and I for a funeral when our uncle passed away when we were little. I’m pulling on their collective knowledge to help me thru this. Does that make me the key keeper for this box of how-to’s? Should I be writing this all down so I don’t mess it up later in life when I don’t have Mom, Susan, Dad or Michael to turn to?

I know, heavy ponderings for a light blog but I think, or at least feel, that death of a generation is felt with a greater impact now than it was in the 1950’s. Historically, once you grew up and out of the house, you still spoke to your parents or grandparents but I think that our generation and the few before us have fostered a closer relationship to our elderly than was practiced in the 50’s. Therefore the loss of this generation has a wider impact. Maybe that’s a narrow view as I am only here now and have no references on how someone felt after the loss of a grandparent in the 50’s. I wonder how tight knit the family tree will be in 60 years from now. If my theory is true, then we share and show our love more now to the various branches of the tree thus a close knit. The benefits are obvious, bountiful and a true blessing. The disadvantage is also more of an impact of death. Are our children’s, children’s, children’s going to feel surrounded by death with such a close knit tree? Will they begin distancing themselves to save themselves from the feeling of the death of a branch? Is that worth the potential loss of the closeness during life?

Despite my ramblings, I wouldn’t have it any other way. I truly feel blessed to have known and been close the generations before me and all around me. Their life lessons, loves and losses helped shape who I am and thus who I am raising my children to be.

Sometimes you just need a laugh

Today was definitely one of those days. Anthony was at his B-pa's after school today and when I went to pick him up. Here’s how the conversation went:

Anthony: (Waving a green square pouch at me) Mom, what’s this? *snicker*

Me: Where did you get that? Were you digging in the cabinets?
Anthony: Yes
Me: Did you ask B-pa?
Anthony: Yes (long pause)
Me: Did B-pa tell you to ask me?

Anthony: *Giggle, giggle, giggle* Yep!

Me: Great! *sarcastic eye roll*

Anthony: So, what is it?

Me: Just go get in the car.

Anthony: Tell me!

Me: Just go get in the car and I’ll tell you.

Anthony: Ok *runs to the car*

Me: (to B-pa) Thanks for setting me up!

B-pa: *Snicker*

*Door slam*

Anthony: Ok, Mom, we’re officially in the car, what was that thing? *Snicker*

Me: Humm, well, ok... (Seriously? This conversation, today?!?) That’s a maxi pad, it’s a pad that women put in their underwear during their monthly period.

Anthony: Period? Why?

Me: Once a month, women and some girls your age and up, go thru a period. It’s when the lining of their uterus sheds off and exits thru their vagina (I'm all for the clinical explinations) The pads help collect the lining and small amounts of blood that come with it and stop it from getting on our panties or pants.

Anthony: *Snicker* It’d be funny if it didn’t catch it!

Me: *Angry scowl* Why is that funny?

Anthony: Because there’d be a big red stain! *Snicker*

Me: NOT Funny! You have to be mature about this, how would you feel if you walked around with a big red stain on the crotch of your pants because of something you can't control?!? HUH! (*Biting cheek to avoid laughing from the ridiculous threat that just crossed my lips*)

Anthony: Ok. *dejected frown*

Me: The monthly period is what signifies a woman’s beginning ability to have a baby, the uterus remember is where the baby stays while inside the mom. So every month, the uterus grows soft and cushy so that if the woman gets pregnant the egg has a soft spot to grow. If the egg does not grow (side-step the whole fertalization conversation) then the lining and the egg shed out making room for next month.

Anthony: Mom, the bikes at school were different because they had gears, my mongoose doesn’t have gears. Thats why I had a hard time riding them.

Me: Huh? What the heck batman? I was just talking about uteruses and you switch to bikes?

Anthony: Yea, I’m done with that conversation.

Me: Oh, ok (Boys!) *eye roll*

I guess it was a day for that type of thing. Apparently, B-pa and Anthony were watching Mythbusters this afternoon, as they usually do, but today’s episode was “Son of a Gun. Can a bullet shot thru a civil war solders groin impregnate a woman near by?” I guess they played around with what was actually the needed “material” on the bullet to impregnate the innocent bystander woman. B-pa said that he was just waiting for the questions. Fortunately, Anthony is an introspective boy and instead of asking B-pa he will think about it for a few weeks and next time we’re having a conversations about bikes, he’ll interrupt with: “Mom? What’s Sperm?”

Weekly Meal Plan

We spent a fortune this last week and to be shamefully honest, I couldn't exactly tell you where. Sad huh? Needless to say, this weeks meal plan is based on what I have in stock and the $50 more I could bear spending.

Monday night: Steak fried rice
Tuesday: Hot Dogs, grilled onions, side salad
Wednesday: Open face tuna melts on broccoli bread
Thursday: Pasta with itallian ground turkey meat sauce
Friday: Dinner out (pay day!)

The fried rice tonight was super yummy. I had left over steak from fajitas last week and rice from this weekend.

4 cups rice (cooked in advance)
2 cups chopped steak
1 celery stock
2-3 small carrots
4 green onions
1 can water chestnuts
1 cup frozen peas
2 eggs scrambled
2 tbsp oil
1 tsp ginger
Soy sauce
Teriyaki sauce

Heat the oil over med-high, add the rice and fry for 1 min until some of the moisture is removed. Make a hole in the middle of the rice add the egg, cook until done, add in the veggies and meat. Stir together, lower the heat to medium, add the ginger and soy sauce to taste. Serve with the teriyaki sauce drizzled over top.

Easter 2011

What a great Easter. I feel almost as exhausted as I do after Christmas for some reason though! This weekend was non-stop! Brad de-constructed our laundry room (more on that to come), Princess Mia had to be cleaned before her holiday, we had shopping to do, bunny cakes to make, eggs to dye and baskets to assemble. (shh!) Egg hunts, family meals and wine to be drank!

 Her royal blow-dry (not sure if that's the front or back!)

The gifts from the Easter Bunny -

 Hailey left the Easter Bunny a gift (some change she found put into a small box) and Anthony left a note asking the Bunny to take a break and enjoy some snacks as a thank you for all the gifts from the past, the present and the future. He also asked what the Bunny's name was.

The Easter Bunny's Reply:
_________________________________________________________________________________
Dear Anthony, Hailey and Makenna,
Thank you so much for the snack, I really needed it! I hope you don't mind but Princess Mia came out with me a bit tonight to help. Thank you for taking such good care of her. I did promis her that I would tell you she would like more strawberries, they're her favorite.
Anthony - My real name is kind of embarrasing, I'll tell you but you have to keep it a secret. It's Melvin, Everyone just calls me EB.
Hailey - Thank you for the present. It was so nice of you, I am going to spend it on something nice for myself.
Makenna - Hop Hop!

I love you three, see you next year!
EB
_________________________________________________________________________________

Anthony got a very nice snorkle set for the pool, here he's showing off his mask. I'll just keep this one for the wedding slide show. 

 The bunny cake that the girls and I made:

 Sorry for the smudgey picture, I didn't realize there was a little girl fingerprint on the lense.
This is a close up of the mini cakes we made, aren't they cute!

 The customary family Easter picture.

 Easter egg hunting

Black egg hunting! The black egg is hidden by B-pa and is the hardest to find. Who ever finds it though, gets the money inside, usually $20. This year, B-pa went a little over the top and was saying that no one would ever find it (what's the fun in that!) but he was a good sport and gave Anthony ton's of clue's that made him think and reason it out. Finally it came down to "hot or cold." It was somewhere between Anthony and the girls. No one could find it.  (Do you see Mia in the backround laying on the grass? She had her own outdoor pen she could roam around on the grass in today)

 Finally B-pa had to help.

Luckly, despite the fact that he didn't actually find it, Anthony got the money.

Dinner was great, desert was rich and the kids were in bed by 7:30pm! Brad and I quickly went around and stashed all the candy out of sight and are ready to collapse into bed. Tomorrow is tornado clean up. Hop everyone had a great Easter!

Mini-Mega cooking day

Sounds funny huh?

I have been asked to help make meals for my husbands ageing grandfather. He is over 90 years old and for now, still lives independently; however, he is starting to have a difficult time cooking his own meals. He has been widowed for many years and has been self sufficient the entire time so the slow loss of ability that comes with advanced age is difficult for him. We’re hoping that since he knows I love to cook and often do big batches of cooking and baking that he will not take it as us viewing him incapable of doing it but rather as just the good gesture we intend it to be. I’m going to the dollar store to get some containers and plan on making approximately 20 meals. They all need to be relatively soft and easy to chew and also ones that can either be microwaved or reheated in the oven with little not no fuss.

So far, my ideas are:

Chicken and rice casserole

Taco Sheppard’s-pie-style with pureed hominy instead of the mashed potatoes

Stuffed tomatoes

Pastina and itallian sausage soup

Chicken noodle soup

I may not make all those or I may add more but that’s my idea list thus far. I will probably shop for ingredients on Monday and bake on Wednesday.

Spring Cleaning list

In no particular order:

·        Wash, iron and re-hang curtains

·        Sew new pillow covers, curtain tie backs and table runners for summer

·        Rent carpet shampooer and shampoo all the carpets

·        Paint Anthony’s room and clean out

·        Order prints for my above cabinet posters

·        Prep backyard for the summer – weed spray, lay down bark, pest control

·        Wash all bed skirts, take comforters to dry cleaner, flip mattresses, clean under the beds

·        Clean up blog – recipe’s page, remove Dirty Laundry replace with “out of context,”  add search bar

·        Give the dog a buzz cut

·        Re-assess and re-evaluate New Years Resolutions

·        Redo wreath above dining room table (take out the Christmas decorations)

·        Wash all fake plants and flowers

·        Clean out and organize bathroom cabinets, kitchen cabinets and pantry

I’m giving myself until the end of May to accomplish this entire list. Does anyone have a spring cleaning list they’d care to share? Am I the only loon who still makes a spring cleaning list?

"The List" update

Ok, although the Starbucks Fairy gifted me with a super awesome $25 gift card I have had no way to redeem it yet as I have a house full of kids that don't all fit in my car. That and I'm pretty sure if I took them all to Starbucks I'd spend the entire $25 in one trip or risk tantrums of epic proportions. After all, that old saying 'misery loves company' was invented by a mom of multiple toddlers. Once one starts complaining, crying or melting down the others soon follow suit and considering I currently have 4-5 toddlers with me right now, it wouldn't be a pretty picture!

Regardless, I have been treated to 'bux three times recently, twice by my 10 yr old niece and once by my husband. Both were phenomenal treats and combined with the promise of more caffeinated heaven from my gift card I have finally made great headway on my priorities list.

·        DONE! I have to file my taxes – not a hard task, I already completed all the paperwork I just have to review and file – It’s money just waiting for me to claim!

·        I have to clip coupons and organize my coupon file – I need a mega coupon shopping trip here soon, we’re getting really low on staples and that’s dangerous, it means I’m more likely to pay over my “buy now” price and we’re trying really hard to be extra frugal with money right now. (*I clipped all the one’s I had and started to organize them into a new file but my Grandma brought me 8 more inserts last night so I’m behind again)

·        DONE! I have to clean out the girl’s room – once again we can’t walk in there without stepping on something and I swear something squished last night when I went in.

·        DONE!  (the list is done at least) I have to make my spring cleaning list and get to it! – My curtains need to be washed and re-pressed, my floors need to be shampooed, my couch has a year’s worth of junk crammed underneath the cushions.

·        I have to buy weed killer and get the landscaper back here (yes, I know, shut up!) to clean up the weeds before our HOA yells at me again.

·        I have to do a run to the dump to clear out the crap in our garage so I can organize for a yard sale (also, given that I drive a dark blue car it would be nice to park inside so we don’t get scorch marks when we try to put our seat belts on)

·        I have to do a garage sale – that or just give up and take it all to goodwill and get it over with

·        I have to search Craigslist for new dining room chairs ours are falling apart and at this point are not only an eye sore but a health hazard! (We’re waiting on the tax return to get new chairs – NEW! Yea! I’ve never had new chairs, everything’s yard sale, craigslist or hand-me-down and I’m ok with that, but NEW! Yeppie)

·        DONE! I also need a new dryer.

I do believe, I do believe, I do, I do, I do!

Once you become an adult all those fun, motivating, exciting and mythical beings that use to spoil us move on to the next generation. In general I'm grateful, my kids have been blessed with some great gifts from the Tooth Fairy, Santa spoils them beyond their wildest imagination and we all know about those naughty leprechauns.

However, every once in a while, I still wish upon a star and daydream about House Cleaning Fairies, Laundry Godmothers or bunnies other than the dust ones that frequent my house. I sometimes long for the days when the excitement of a legendary holiday visitor would tear me out of bed at the crack of dawn with fulfillment of wishes I didn't even know I had. These guardians of childhood innocence took a personal back seat and faded with each calendar year I added gleefully to take the reins again when the addition of my own children reinvented my love for them. But, this morning at 3:02 am precisely, I was visited by my very own mythical fulfiller of wishes: The Starbucks Fairy!

When I woke up this morning at 6 am and was lazily perusing my email, pondering how I was going to function today with five kids under 5 years old, no working dryer and piles of laundry, I came to this email:

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


Enjoy your Starbucks Card eGift

Hi Jennifer,
Your Priority Motivator wanted to make your day so they’ve sent you a $25.00 Starbucks Card eGift to spend on your favorite beverage.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

How phenomenal is that! No name, just "your priority motivator." I giggled! Yes, giggled, when i read it and I got out of bed with a spring in my step!

I guess this means I should accomplish the things I said I would if I had $25 in Starbucks money. I wouldn't want the Starbucks Fairy to think I'm ungrateful or unworthy.

Starbucks Fairy, wherever your caffeinated home is, I hope you heard my child-like giggle and know that you made my day!

Bountiful baskets tropical pack

Have you joined Bountiful Baskets yet? Really it's simple, worth it and a great experience in food! You order on Monday, pick up on Saturdays. It usually only takes me 30 min.'s round trip on Saturday mornings.
Here's everyone lined up:





Here is a picture of the baskets waiting to be claimed. (the $3 first time basket charge pays for the white baskets to store your produce until you pick it up)





This is a bad picture but cut me some slack, it was early, I only had 1/2 of my coffee and was on auto pilot. These are ready for me to pick up. One fruit and one veggie white basket equals one order. Make sense? I had two orders.





This weeks basket offered a tropical pack for the first time. I'm so excited about it!






The tropical pack included:
1 pineapple
1 coconut
3 mangos
1 lime
2 lemons
1 star fruit
2 fresh vanilla pods
Large bag of fresh mint

The last time I bought vanilla pods they were jarred from McCormak and I think I paid $8 for two pods. They were dry and yielded very little pulp. The tropical pack with everything above was $10.50 and the vanilla is wet, soft and so fragrant! The mint alone is probably another $8-10.

This is the tropical pack and regular basket combined:






The basket this week had:
1 bunch celery
1 large crown broccoli
2 bags carrots
6 small cucumbers
1 yellow onion
3 organic romain lettuces
3 small bags radishes
1 bunch banana
1 cantaloupe
1 clamshell strawberries
7 apples
6 mangos


I think we're going to have a tropical feast tonight!

Mango mint mojitos
Brown sugar grilled pork tenderloin with mango pineapple salsa
Jasmine lime and cilantro rice
Tropical green salad with star fruit and lemon lime balsamic vinaigrette
Coconut tres leches cake with caramelized bananas

Yum!

I want to be a peacock

Today the girls and I returned to the zoo with some friends. Yes, I remembered the pull-up's this time, but even more shaming, for the first time ever, Makenna packed her own purse with a pull-up tucked inside. (See, I told you, scarred for life!) The monkeys were sorely disappointed! We were greeted with whoops and monkey calls that abruptly stopped when Makenna crawled up the railing thus revealing her pull-up. Ironically, that's not an exaggeration but the docent assured me it was a coincidence not an actual reaction to my daughter. (Ok, that parts an exaggeration, I did not ask a docent for their opinion on the subject, I couldn't find one.)

The birds were particularly friendly today, coming very close to the crowds and proudly displaying their bright feathers. The peacock was no exception. We saw three full peacock displays today. They truly are beautiful. Actually, I think handsome, is a better description, as the full magnificent feathers display we associate with peacocks is actually from the male. They developed the display to entice female peacocks. The females are more monotone in color and their tail feathers are much shorter and lack the iridescent colors that shimmer on the male.



Tonight is date night, and as I am painstakingly curling my now chocolate colored hair after a shower, exfoliation, shave, a 20 min. makeup routine and at least 5 outfit changes, I realized something. I want to be a peacock! I bet those long feathers require quite a bit of grooming and I chose to believe that it's physically taxing on the male to grow, maintain and display his handsome feathers. All the female peacock has to do is sit back and appreciate the view.

I bet when the Peacocks hit the town for a date Mr. Peacock has to come home early enough to primp his feathers, groom and straighten them and spends most of the date sucking in his gut the to help support the plume. (He wouldn't want the other animals thinking that Mrs Peacock chose a sloppy male.) Mrs. Peacock gets to proudly walk next to him basking in the beautiful iridescent shimmers catching every other creatures eye.

Yep, in my next life I want to be a female peacock. I wonder if Brad would 'primp' his feathers to dazzle me as I am primping for him tonight? :)

Priorities update

Nada! Yep, that's my update, nothing. Ugh! I gave myself till the end of this week to finish my list or make a huge dent in it. Looks like the rest of this week's going to suck. I am almost done with our taxes, I just need two more pieces of info from Brad and I can hit file. I also have a dryer that we just need to go pick up this weekend so I can once again resume the oh so glamorous job of laundry.

On a side note our camping trip was canceled last weekend due to a very random cold rainy day. We went from 90 degree days down to 47 degrees on Saturday and back up to the 80's on Monday. We thought about going this weekend instead but have too many things that we (I) need to accomplish. I really need one of those days where I wake up mega motivated and just blast thru my house cleaning, organizing and accomplishing all my goals. Please? Either that or a $25 gift card to Starbucks to fuel a fake motivated spree. Yea, $25 ought to cover a days worth of Starbucks. Just don't tell Brad.