The Moral Dilemma of Swiper the Fox

Yes, you read this right, Swiper the fox should be cowering in his fox hole right now contemplating his morality. Dora too! Though, probably not in a fox hole.

One of the recent topics of discussion between Brad and I has been morality, work ethic, generosity and other characteristic traits and qualities. The topic was born from Pappy’s passing and preparing for his eulogy. As most eulogies go, Pappy’s highlighted his best quality’s and commented on how he passed those qualities on to his children, grandchildren and great-grandchildren. The question later arose between Brad and I: How are these traits and qualities passed on? Are they shown by example? Taught as lessons from our parents? There are varying interpretations of these lesions as Brad and I looked at our siblings and our parent’s siblings. Are we genetically dispositioned to carry on the traits of those before us? We wondered how as parents, we were suppose to “activate” these traits, live by example and teach the intangible lesions that build the framework of a good human being. How do we hone in on true north?

We didn’t come up with any concrete answers but rather that we need to have this type of discussion with the kids (at their level of course) and that we need to lead by example. We also decided that we need to be open and honest with the kids when we are faced with moral dilemmas as adults. Letting them see our conflicts and our ultimate decisions and how they affect us. (This means my accidental klepto days are over – come on mom’s how many of you have gotten to the car after leaving the Target check out with kids in melt down mode only to realize that the $3 bottle of hand lotion you grabbed was laying under your purse? With full tantrum in effect do you return back into the store or just chock it up to a mistake and chuck it into your car along with your kids?)

This brings me to the Dora dilemma. I’m a TV mom, always have been, I personally like having the TV on and think that for the most part kids shows do a great job of teaching life, reading, math and other preschool type of lessons. My kids LOVE Dora. They watch it daily and have our DVR set to record all the episodes with special instructions not to delete their favorites. The list of favorites includes Star Mountain, Dora’s Ballet adventure and recently Swiper’s big adventure: Swiper the explorer. The last one is what they were watching the other day and for the first time, I really paid attention to the subject and the corresponding “discussion” the girls had during the show.

*Warning, this is way analytical, over the top and just demonstrates my ability to deconstruct something totally benign and turn it into something big.

If you know Dora the Explorer then you know Swiper the Fox. He’s the wily nemesis of Dora who goes thru each episode at about the half way point and tries to steal something of Dora’s. Yes, steal. They call it “swiping” but really it’s stealing. Swiper sneaks up on Dora and whoever she’s helping for the day and attempts to swipe something from them. The group puts up their hands and yells “Swiper no swiping, Swiper no swiping!” and Swiper snaps his fingers and says “Oh Man!” for being foiled in his attempts at the last second. These are some of the catch phrases of the show. My girls know them by heart. They know the sneaking music that starts before Swiper appears.

In Swipers Big Adventure, Dora finds a lost baby fox and vows to help it find its mommy and daddy. Swiper appears early in this episode followed by his usual chorus of “Swiper no swiping!” Except this time, Swiper coo’s over the baby fox and asks if he can help Dora return the baby home. Yea, Swiper’s going to help!

This would be a great spot for a moral lesson to the kids about how Swiper’s going to turn a new leaf. Graduate from a life of crime to one of helping kids. They could showcase how he can help, maybe have him return things along the way. But, nope, that’s not what they do. Instead, they have the standard 3 stops before they reach the end location and the standard 3 obstacles they have to overcome. In this episode, to overcome each obstacle, Swiper has to swipe something. For example, there’s a pile of coconuts in the way and Swiper volunteers to swipe them out of the way. Yea! Swiper’s the hero for stealing the coconuts.

Do you see my issue here? We spend all the other Dora’s teaching the kids that swiping is bad. Then, when it fits Dora’s needs, we condone his stealing. So, it’s ok to steal when you yourself are trying to do something good? (*I know, I told you this was a bit over the top) I kid you not, when Dora suggested that Swiper swipe the coconuts, Kenna shouted “Swiper no swiping! Swiper no swiping!” Then Hailey turned to Keanna and reminded her that it was ok for Swiper to swipe because he was helping to return the baby fox to his home.

Ugh!

Do the ends justify the means? Is it ok to do something wrong, against the rules or bad if your end result is something good? In some cases yes, but how do you teach a child to differentiate?

I’ll give you another example. This one is a bit harder and much more public. The death of Osama Bin Laden. Thousands, maybe millions of people celebrated his death, his killing. This was the conversation I had to muddle thru with Anthony the other day when we overheard another news report on the subject:

Anthony: “Mom, who actually killed Osama Bin Laden?”

Me: “They are not saying exactly who, it was a group of special op’s solders under Obama’s direction.”

Anthony: “So Obama’s getting the credit?”

Me: “Well, sort of, as the President, he’s the leader of the Armed Forces.”

Anthony: “So, is he responsible for killing someone? Will he be the one going to jail?”

Me: “Well…..No, I mean, yes, he’s responsible for the solders actions, but no he won’t be going to jail.”

Anthony: “Who will? I thought if you killed someone, you went to jail? Why are people celebrating?”

Me: “You know who Osama was right? You know that he was responsible for the 9/11 attacks and killed hundreds of people because of it?”

Anthony: “Right.”

Long pause

Anthony: “So, because he killed the hundreds of people, we got to kill him?”

Ugh!

No one told me 10 years ago that parenting was going to be so difficult. How on earth do I explain to my son that we’re angry at Osama for killing and as retaliation we kill him? I’m not saying that Osama didn’t deserve to be punished for his horrific crimes to all of humanity but…I’m shaping the moral compass of future generations here. Is this situation that much different than the Dora example? Killing is wrong, but killing is ok if the person really deserves it. Stealing is wrong, but stealing is ok when you’re doing it to try and help someone. At what point does “really deserve it” get judged, who decides if you’re “help” to someone in need justifies you breaking the rules to do so? How do I reinforce true north while examples abound of veering off course when the ends justify the means?

Does Swiper have a pang of guilt every time he swipes, does he feel that compass needle veering off course? No, probably not, should he have had a pang of guilt when he swiped those coconuts with little baby fox watching in awe at his amazing swiping powers? What about when little baby fox mimicked Swiper and crooned in his little baby voice “Swipe, swipe, swipe!”

Parenting’s hard!