My Dad sent this to me as a joke on Monday when I launched this blog. The funniest part about it is I agree and try to model almost ALL of these! Sick huh! Somewhere along the way I seriously took a full leap backwards for feminism. I didn't always use to be like this I promise, but I do admit it's slowing getting worse as time goes by. Who know's maybe I'll even get myself a pretty little lace half apron to wear.

Housekeeping Monthly, 13 May 1955

The Good Wife's Guide

* Have dinner ready. Plan ahead, even the night before, to have a delicious meal ready on time for his return. This is a way of letting him know that you have be thinking about him and are concerned about his needs. Most men are hungry when they get home and the prospect of a good meal is part of the warm welcome needed.

* Prepare yourself. Take 15 minutes to rest so you'll be refreshed when he arrives. Touch up your make-up, put a ribbon in your hair and be fresh-looking. He has just been with a lot of work-weary people.

* Be a little gay and a little more interesting for him. His boring day may need a lift and one of your duties is to provide it. (Yes, because I'm sure he loves to hear two year old potty training tails and the controversy behind today’s Dora episode!)

* Clear away the clutter. Make one last trip through the main part of the house just before your husband arrives. Run a dustcloth over the tables. During the cooler months of the year you should prepare and light a fire for him to unwind by. Your husband will feel he has reached a haven of rest and order, and it will give you a lift too. After all, catering to his comfort will provide you with immense personal satisfaction.

* Minimize all noise. At the time of his arrival, eliminate all noise of the washer, dryer or vacuum. Encourage the children to be quiet. (Aside from duck tape, if any one figures out how to actually accomplish a quiet house at the witching hour please let me know!)

* Be happy to see him.

* Greet him with a warm smile and show sincerity in your desire to please him.

* Listen to him. You may have a dozen important things to tell him, but the moment of his arrival is not the time. Let him talk first - remember, his topics of conversation are more important than yours. (Nope, sorry bub! My conversations for the day have been with a 3.5 and 2 yr old, I'm bursting at the seams with all my interesting musings of the day - I get to go first!)

* Don't greet him with complaints and problems.

* Don't complain if he's late for dinner or even if he stays out all night. Count this as minor compared to what he might have gone through at work.

* Make him comfortable. Have him lean back in a comfortable chair or lie him down in the bedroom. Have a cool or warm drink ready for him.

* Arrange his pillow and offer to take off his shoes. Speak in a low, soothing and pleasant voice.

* Don't ask him questions about his actions or question his judgment or integrity. Remember, he is the master of the house and as such will always exercise his will with fairness and truthfulness. You have no right to question him. (Nope, sorry bub! It is my job to question you. We live in a 3 bedroom house, it’s not big enough for our family of 5 plus your ego if I don't question! Besides, everyone knows Mom's run the house, therefore - I'm the "master" of this middle suburbia castle!

* A good wife always knows her place. (In a clean home, with lots of children, good food and a happy marriage – my definition at least)