Eww, most disgusting ever! I'm warning you, don't read this if you are weak of stomach! This is a way TMI story but I had to share my pain. (B-pa - you really don't want to read this, you'll gag!)
In my effort to be out of the house this week, I took the girls to the park this morning then onto McDonnalds for a treat and some more play time. It's getting a bit warm here and they were already pink cheeked at the park by 10 am, so the indoor play place at McDonnalds was the perfect extension to their play time.
At the park, Missy notices a used condom on the steps leading up onto the jungle gym. She bravely spears it with a stick and takes it to the trash. A few minute later her son finds the wrapper and gets very upset when Missy snatches it away from him and scrubs him with a sanitizing wipe. Seriously, who does the nasty at a public park, on the kids equipment then leaves the nasty dirty condom stuck to the steps.
Fast forward 30 min's and Makenna announces to the entire echo-y room, that she farted and has to go poop! Great! So I pack up my ipad (did you know McDonnalds had wifi? I could sit there for hours and let the girls play while I blog and blog-surf) my purse and organize our food so it doesn't look like leftover trash and whisk Makenna off to the bathroom. As usual, the poor potty training girl has a hard time distinguishing between a good fart and the urge to poop. (TMI right? I warned you!) So, we pull back on her clean pull up, wash our hands and head back to our seat.
She plays around for a bit and I made a phone call. I noticed while I was on the phone that she was playing under the table but didn't think much of it. Several kids had just bombarded the play place and I figured she was being a bit shy. Well, Hailey comes over at this point and, again loudly because toddlers don't have any other level, shouts "Eww, Mom! Kenna has poop all over her dress....eww, it's in her hair! Yuck, it stinks! It's on her shoes!"
I immediately end my phone call and sure enough, Hailey was right, Kenna's pretty little dress was poop stained running down both her legs, into her shoes, where she was picking it off with her hands and had apparently tried to brush a stray hair off her neck and instead smeared more poop. I quickly grab my belongings and Kenna and once again whisk off to the bathroom just off the playroom, plopping little nuggets of diarrhea as a trail behind us. (Gagging yet? Wait, it gets better!)
Thankfully the bathroom is a one room bathroom not a stall type of public bathroom. I unbutton her dress, throw it on the floor, which at this point is already smeared, take her shoes off doing my best to preserve my two day old manicure and turn on the water in the miniature version of a sink. I stand her up in the sink and using my hands and the antibacterial soap, scrub her clean of the poop. Meanwhile, the sink is filling up with all the lovely "bits" that accompany poop and starts to back up. So, I take 20 toilet seat covers because it would be too practical for this bathroom to have paper towels, and prop Kenna up on the changing table sitting on the seat covers. I clean off her dress since I don't have anything else for her to wear. Then, using my hands and an entire industrial roll of toilet paper, and the entire bag of soap, clean the bathroom. Including fishing the "bits" out of the sink and throwing them into the toilet.
I use the blow drying machine to dry Kenna, and attempt to dry her dress. By this point she's pretty restless and done with being in the small bathroom. It dawns on me that my diapers and wipes are in the car. So, I'm stranded with a naked toddler in a McDonnalds bathroom that stinks of poop and the overuse of the flowery anti-bacterial soap. I had the ingenious idea to take off my dress-shirt and give her my tank top that I was wearing underneath. Brilliant! Not! My dress-shirt was pale yellow, now brown in spots and wet in others rendering it completely see-thru to my black bra and oh so glamorous stretch marks that are now plainly visible thru the clingy material. I grabbed the white under tank this morning in a rush since I couldn't find my white bra and knew that the tank would cover up my fashion faux pas of dark bra under light shirt. Ha! No such luck.
I exit the now devastated bathroom in a see thru wet, poop smeared dress, carrying a toddler in a womens XL white tank top held together at the back with a hair tie and a handful of wet clothes and poop covered shoes wrapped in the remaining 20 sheets of toilet seat covers. Pretty picture huh!
I rush over to our table (still poop smeared underneath) grab our drinks and pry an upset Hailey away from the play place while trying desperately to avoid the eyes of the other parents and snickers of the kids yet still hold my head high. After all, it wasn't me who pooped everywhere and I know every mom or grandma in that place has a horrific poop story lurking in their past.
This last part is the ONLY reason I will ever frequent this McDonnalds again. Lets face it, regardless of the fact that its a part of parenting and nature at that, I was still completely embarrassed.
On my way out, I stand patiently by the end of the counter waiting until the patron at the register orders their food and walks away then I get the managers attention. I tell her that my daughter got sick in the playroom under the table and in the bathroom. I quickly and apologetically say that I cleaned up the bathroom to the best of my ability and that it really just needs sanitizing. I sheepishly say that I did not get to clean under the table. The manager looks at me, reaches her hand out to touch Kenna's cheek and says in a sweet, calm voice "Oh no worries, we'll clean it up, it happens. I have kids hun, I understand, you didn't need to clean it up yourself, we would have helped. Thank you for telling me." and to Kenna says "I hope you feel better sweetie, come back and play again another day ok?"
Thank God for working moms! Had that manager not understood my plight or given me one cross eyed look I think I would have burst into tears right then and there and made a complete blubbering idiot of myself on top of everything. Either that or I would have launched into her for her rudeness and made a scene of verbally ripping her to pieces.
Needless to say, I left there with my head held high, a promise to the girls of returning another day soon and made a be-line for the shower!
What a crappy end to a beautiful day at the park. So much for being out and about with healthy kids.
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