Oh Bother!

Why is it that kids don't hear you when you tell them something directly, but speak something not intended for their ears and they pick right up on it? Or how about when you demonstrate proper behavior? Nah, to a kid, it's so much easier to pay attention to bad behavior!

We were at the Children's Museum the other day and they had a circus act performing live. We picked a perch in the front row and waited to be entertained. Makenna loved it, she was the clowns biggest fan, jumping up and down clapping, laughing and even picking up their purposely dropped juggling toys. Hailey was less than thrilled and mostly just watched with a passive expression. Anthony decided after a bit that it was too embarrassing to stay for the whole thing.

I on the other hand, watch in horror! No, not just because they were playing with balloons, which I'm terrified of. (Anthony was kind enough to scoot close to me, plug my ears and rest his head on my shoulder to comfort me. I love that kid!) I was appalled at the clowns behavior. One clown played the 'doof' and was constantly messing up on purpose to get a laugh. Ok, fine, that I guess is O.K. However, the other clown was Mr. Boss Man and would get exasperated at Doof and punish him by scolding him and pretending to slap him across the face, kick him in the butt or just chase after him with a raised hand. They also did a 'bit' about hydration. A.K.A. Water. Mr. Boss Man filled his mouth with a water bottle he pretended to randomly find and proceeded to spit it out like a sprinkler onto the carpeted floor. (!!!) Doof then took a swig and tried to do the same but some how messed it up. Mr. Boss Man then spit his second mouth full right onto Doof's face. (Bleh!) Mr. Boss Man then, presumably, filled his chipmunk cheeks with water and selected a guest from the audience. He removed the guests hat and glasses, positioned the guest right in front of himself and....Poof! Spit a mouth full of air onto the guests face. Hahaha, oh so funny to pretend to spit on someone's face.

Oh Bother!

Remind me again why I thought the Children's Museum would be an educational fun place to take my kids?

(Before you think I'm just a total prude, I'm not opposed to the circus or clowns per say. This was just the wrong time in my impressionable kids lives to sit front row in an act designed to be funny that demonstrated the exact behaviors they are not allowed to replicate.)

As another example of kids hearing things not directed at them: I was highly frustrated the other day with my embroidery machine and the stupid shirts I'm working on. This is not a new thing of course, I HATE embroidering these shirts, its a well known fact. However, I keep doing them because I have a serious problem with saying "No" and the money is hard to turn away. Anyways, I was being inappropriate and cursing the darn machine, shirts, thread, digitized file, air that moved around me, you name it. I yelled "F'ing stupid machine! I give up!" Hailey then came over from her engaging T.V. show and in the sweetest most innocent voice asked me:

"Mom, what is F'ing?"

Oh bother! "Umm, never mind Hailey."

"Can little girls say F'ing?"

"No, no they can't."

"Only mommies can say F'ing?"

"Well, uh, yea."

"Why did you say F'ing?"

"Hailey, stop saying F'ing."

Then, later that same day, in another fit of inappropriate behavior, I said: "Son of a *itch!" Yes, the full word, no asterix involved. (What can I say, I'm not perfect and I HATE these shirts!) Of course, little ears that tune me out on a regular basis, perked up and an oh so innocent, slightly skewed 2 year old voice said:

"Itch? Itch? Itch, momma?"

Oh bother! "It's ok Kenna, never mind."

"Itch! Itch! Itch! Itch!"

"Kenna, stop please."

"Itch! Itch! Itch! Itch!"

Brad: "Jen, what is she saying?"

"Um, she has an itch?"

Brad: "Yea...I don't think that's it."

I still just don't understand how they heard me. I can be right in front of them and ask a question 3 times before I even get a "huh?" response.

Needless to say, can you guess what's been happening around my house since these incidents?

Model behavior?

Nope!

They've been spitting water at each other (on my carpet), kicking each other (when one bends over) and hitting each others faces when they're upset. Add on top of that "F'ing" and "Itch" and my kids are no longer fit for going out in public.

*Hanging my head in shame*