This whole month has been a basic loss for me. I injured my shoulder during a workout on the 25th of January, had to take some time to heal from that, started work (in-office) on the 1st till the 10th, lost one of my dear friends on the 14th, got ridiculously sick on the 17th, and lastly, had a very busy whole weekend of work starting the 24th. To say that I’ve done much more than the bare minimums for the entire month would be pretty much a lie. Valentine’s day and the day before were the only truly functional days I can think of.
February was supposed to also be my month to commit to doing a load of laundry every day. Let’s just say, no. That didn’t happen. I started out ok when I started my new job, but honestly, by midweek the 2nd week, I wasn’t staying on top of it. I thought I would just skim past the few days until I was done at the office and pretend I did the laundry every day those days. No one would know but me right? Except then, Ty died, I was grieving and basically just sat on the couch with my kids all day. Then I got sick. So sick. Sicker than I’ve been in years upon years. My chest hurt so bad I couldn’t move for fear of it causing me to have to take more than a shallow breath. I ended up in urgent care with a 102 fever, a sinus and ear infection and the RSV chest infection. Then, as any mom could predict: the kids and the hubby. I spent the entire week in the recliner; I even slept there because I couldn’t lay down flat without a huge coughing spell. Fortunately the kids didn’t get it as bad as I did, they were over it in 3 days, and so was Brad. I think, because I was depressed, it just hit me full force. Even now, I still have a cough and a dry throat.
From the 18th when I got sick to the24th when I was on call for a very busy weekend, the only things that got washed were the vomit clothes and towels, dirty blankets, dishes (thanks mostly to Anthony and Brad) and occasionally, the countertop was wiped down. Brad helped out so much but he wasn’t feeling great and had a lot of work to catch up on himself since he took several days off to either take care of me or lay in bed himself.
Monday of this week was the first day since the 15th, I’ve felt good. I am finally starting to get my house back in order. The curtains and windows are open; I’ve killed an entire thing of Lysoll, Tide and Dawn.
Needless to say, as far as goals go, I haven’t been to the gym since last month, I haven’t written in my journal at all this month and I’d be lucky to count 10 total loads of laundry done this month.
Epic fail.
It sucks, but, really, I think I’m ok with it. I’m just scratching the month off as a total loss and moving on. I can't change it, I can't go back and do-over any of the things I should have done and lying about it doesn't change anything or make me feel any better. I honestly thought about crossing off the ‘load of laundry per day’ on my list as a loss or fail too but instead I’m moving it to March. I made these goals to stretch myself, to make myself do something ‘more’ than my norm. Checking it off as a fail, would be my norm. Moving it to March would be pushing myself. So, that’s what I’m going to do.
Here’s hoping that March is much better than February. I want to do some crafty stuff this month, I want to come up with some new recipes and I want to finish up my craft space. No one is making me, no one cares if I don’t, these are things I want to do. Things that make me happy and that I enjoy doing. I just have to remember that. Remember that if I don’t get to those things one day it’s not a big deal, they are fun, extra, “love your life” things that I want to do. My real goals for the month are to get back to the gym, do one load of laundry a day and have fun with my family. Those are things I have to do, those are what I will push myself every day to accomplish.
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