The End of 2011

In so many ways I’m so glad to see this year go, yet, as a good friend just said to me, “I don’t have the energy to start a new year, let’s just let this one continue on for a bit longer.”  I am however, absolutely ready for December to be over with. I just wish there was something between December and January. Maybe Catchupuary. Yea, that would work for me, one full month to catch up on all unfinished business of the previous year before we start a new one.

This last month has been such a whirl wind I don’t even feel like I’ve been able give anything my full and proper attention. The kids birthdays were a success, Kenna felt like a princess and Anthony was a gold miner. I pray that they don’t feel like they ever miss out on anything due to the chaos that is December, that’s a burden I hope is only ever on me. My Christmas decorations were all up at least two weeks before and all my homemade gifts were complete before Christmas Eve. That in itself is a huge success for me. I have done homemade Christmases’ before but ended up so pressed for time to finish them that I’ve spent Christmas eve’s in past never going to bed, finishing crafts up until the point the kids wake up in the morning. This year however, I kept to a schedule and everything was complete on time. I do wish it was a few weeks before Christmas as opposed to a few days but, given that my goal last year was to be done before Christmas Eve, I suppose I shall work on a few weeks as my goal for next year.

Our Christmas was beautiful yet again this year. We spent all Christmas Eve day with Brad’s family. The girls were magical dancing princesses at mass and Anthony was intent on understanding the message behind the sermon. The absence of Pappy during gift opening was profound yet we pressed on. Usually Pappy would hand pick gifts for everyone, usually from some mail order catalog, and usually something that would evoke at least one bout of laughter and hilarious pictures. This year, sadly, there were no Pappy gifts under the tree, just his memory. For the core family (My in-laws, sister in law’s family and my 5) we draw names and do a gift exchange. This year, my niece Abby, wanted to be a part of the exchange as well so there was 7 of us total. For the first time in 11 years of doing the exchange, it was messed up and someone got two presents and one person got skipped. Both my sister-in law and I swear that we got the same person, Helen, my mother in-law and so that meant my sister-in-law was skipped. I felt so bad! Mom made out though, she got two pairs of new jeans, two new shirts, a new dining room table (go Craigslist!) a bath kit, a scarf and new silverware. I’m still trying to find the perfect gift/make up gift for my sister-in-law.

Christmas morning the kids awoke to bikes for the girls and a 32 inch flat screen TV for Anthony from Santa. Once again the space under our tree was filled beyond sitting room but this year we all shared recycled and Craigslist purchased gifts as well. Everyone got one or more new gift but some of the best ones were homemade, or as we called them ‘upcycled’ gifts. I probably always say this, but I think it was one of the best years. A large part of that was also that both my brothers were home for Christmas this year. We haven’t all been home together in 6 years so it was extra special. My mom was in her glory having Christmas dinner at her house with all her children and grandchildren around her table.

My dad and step-mom also changed up their routine this year and drove into town Christmas day instead of flying in a week or so before Christmas. We got to spend an hour or two with them Christmas night and then had the week with them. We took beautiful professional family pictures and did our gift exchange with everyone, my brothers included, on Wednesday before my middle brother, Doug had to fly home. The only downer, was, on the last night my dad was in town, his truck was stolen from the hotel parking lot. Fortunately it was found about 8 hours later but it was in pretty bad shape and most of the things inside, including the gifts we had given them, were all stolen. They rented a car and headed up to my uncle’s cabin in Northern Arizona for the weekend as previously planned but will now be driving back here to pick up their truck from the repair shop vs. driving straight back to Texas.

Somewhere in all of this, my mom also had surgery to fix her carpal tunnel. Its an amazing surgery, she was in and out of the hospital in about 3 hours and, aside from the scar healing, she is in great shape. My step-dad is, as usual, taking wonderful care of her and she’s being treated like a queen. Her only major complaint is having to sit for hours on end. She is and always has been a mover, always working on a project, always cleaning or doing something. (Just in case you ever wondered where I get it from, the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree.) To help alleviate her sit-down crazies and to ring in the New Year we’re going to spend the night with them tonight. My step-dad’s cooking us a Mexican fest and we’re going to play card games, light of a few fireworks and at least one lantern to welcome the New Year.

Tomorrow night my little family of 5 will sit down to dinner and write out our resolutions. We started this tradition last year and although we kept several of our resolutions we certainly didn’t keep them all. The goal is that everyone has at least one personal goal and we as a family set two group goals. Brad and I already know our personal goals but deciding on an obtainable family goal is still a subject of debate.

Last year, one of my goals was to start this blog. I love that I have this year documented and I love the connections I’ve made because of my musings. I have decided to continue writing here but I haven’t yet decided the direction I want to take this year. I know I want to post more recipes and more craft projects but as for more things like contests, I’m not sure how I’m going to proceed. I guess all I can say is if you’ve stuck with me thru my first rocky year of blogging, Thank You, and keep with me as I navigate my second year. I hope to only improve upon this space I’ve carved for myself.

Happy New Year to all, I hope you close 2011 with a smile and welcome a 2012 with love.

Happy Birthday Anthony!

11 years ago today, after a grueling 72 hours of labor Brad and I welcomed Anthony into our life. We were surrounded by family and friends and his life has remained as such and hopefully always will.

Brad and I met in college, a human sexuality class actually.  I was 19 and he was 20. Anthony was not planned but absolutely wanted. Brad and I had only been dating a short while when we found out we were expecting. The scared teenage girl in me was so afraid Brad would run when I told him we were going to have a baby. He came to my apartment that night and I handed him the book: What to Expect When You're Expecting. He looked at it, flipped thru the pages for a second and asked: "Is this what we're doing our final project?"
Me: "Well, not exactly (cue tears), I'm pregnant."
In my mind, he jumped over the back of the sofa, bolted out the door and floored his truck as fast as he could! In reality, he held me while I sobbed until I was quiet enough for him to talk, and then said: “Jen, I already know I love you, and I know I will love this baby, let's make this work."

He moved in the next day and we've been together ever since. It hasn't always been easy and we've had our difficulties, but 11 years, 2 more kids, 4 houses, 6 jobs and countless hours of life changing moments, we're still here, still making it work. But, this is Anthony's story, not ours.

Anthony was an only child for 7 years. He was raised by a village of grandparents, mostly my Papa and my Mom and Step-Dad. On the day he was born, our family took up almost the entire waiting room! We didn't know if I was carrying a boy or a girl nor did we tell everyone our name choices. After I delivered, and the baby was all cleaned up, everyone piled into our little room. My youngest brother Marc got to tell everyone that we had a boy and Brad and I announced his name, Anthony Joseph. My Papa, his namesake, took a few moments to process that we named the baby after him, then, once he realized it, he fell to his knees.

In so many ways, Anthony is still an only child being that there is such a gap between him and his sisters. Yet, knowing who he was even before they were born, it was absolutely right for him to be the much older, bigger brother. He needed that 7 years of focused time with us and he needed the wisdom and maturity of the 7 years to handle the chaos that is two younger sisters. He is a great big brother and loves his sisters in an immeasurable way. They fight, they yell and then cuddle up together on the couch watching kids shows. He shares his popcorn, teaches them how to play games and makes them breakfast every morning.

Anthony has the most genuine heart of anyone I’ve ever known. He is always looking out for those around him and will give anything he has to help someone. He loves Legos and has an engineering mind. He can re-create almost anything via drawing or Legos. He has an artistic talent that continues to grow and amaze us. He just recently has taken up origami, the trumpet and rocket building with his B-pa. He excels at math and spends hours on end lost in his own imagination. He has worn a path into our back yard from where he walks one side to the other thinking, talking to himself and acting out his imaginary plans.

You know that question about having a super hero power? If you could have one super hero power what would it be? I would love to say invisibility but because of Anthony, I would ask for the ability to read minds. I would give anything to see the world the way he does, to be able to view his imagination at work. He gives us glimps of it in his art work, but I know it pails in comparison to what he actually creates in his mind.

He’s impulsive, scatter brained, messy, and often suffers from tunnel vision but I wouldn’t trade any of those characteristics for anything else because they are part of the beautiful young man he is. He is the sum of so many parts and always creating or adding new facets to his personality. I love the stage of life he’s in now but can’t wait to see the man he will become.

Happy Birthday my Anthony, I love you!


Spring 2011

Fall 2010

Sorry this one is sideways but its a drawing Anthony did the day Hailey was born, he drew it with watercolor pencil.

Winter 2003

2002

Summer 2010

Happy Birthday My Makenna

Today is Makenna’s 3^rd Birthday. I can’t believe it’s only been three years since she joined our family. In so many ways her and Hailey are twins, I often expect that they are the same age. Yet, in every other possible way she is completely different. Hailey is delicate, Makenna is tough. Hailey is gentle, Makenna is fierce. Anthony and Makenna are much more alike in personality yet they too have vast differences. Anthony loves order, rules to follow and clear instructions. Makenna relishes in freedom, bucks any rules set before her and only follows her own instructions.

The day she was born was just a small indicator of the person she is still becoming. She is fiercly independent, strong and the type of person that marches to the music in her own head. Despite the fact that she was my 3^rd delivery, she refused to come on her due date, or the day after, or even the day after that. I ended up having to be induced into labor which is rare for a 3^rd. After waiting thru the induction all night, just at the point the Dr. was considering C-section, Makenna decided it was her time. She entered the world in a delivery that defied convention (no need for details here), and broke long standing rules.  

Brad and I tried to have another baby for over 7 years before we were blessed with Hailey. We were content and resigned that Anthony was going to be our only, then, Hailey danced her way into our life. Considering we had 7 years between Anthony and Hailey, we didn’t rush to get into any type of birth control. I was still nursing Hailey and we hadn’t even decided if we were going to try for a 3^rd child, ever, when I found out I was pregnant with Makenna. To say we were shocked is an understatement. To say we’ve been blessed is an understatement of equally epic proportions.

Makenna makes us laugh every day. Every day she makes me pull my hair out and wish for my own time-outs. She is so opposite of Hailey yet they are so close (only 17 months between them) that it’s a daily adventure to watch her. She never reacts the way you expect, she never listens when you think she should but can be the most astute individual when you’re not paying attention to her. She will tackle you with her hugs, grabs your face to smoosh a kiss into you and never goes to bed with out at least 3 hugs. She loves her brother and sister and can’t stand to be away from either of them. She plays with Hailey all day long, pretending to be a puppy, a baby or even the momma. She sings, dances and laughs at the most random times. She demands Anthony tell her good-bye every morning before school and waits by the door when she knows he’s coming home. She is always getting into his legos, toys and anything else that belongs to him. She races outside the moment he does just so she can be with him. It was Anthony who actually named her. On the night we were driving home from telling our family we were pregnant again, we were discussing names. He said: "Can we name her Makenna? I knew a girl at Daycare that was younger than me, she was scared so I use to hold her hand and walk her in every day. She was really pretty and nice." 

Truly, Makenna is her own individual. She is a free spirit who I’m sure will only give me hell in her teens, rebel against the norm all her life and will, God willing, lay on her death bed an old withered lady saying – “Damn, what a ride!” I know she will teach all of us the importance of timing, or lack there-of, and will, her entire life, as in her birth, be fashionably late, creating a sea of smiles as she enters.

MIA

This is the longest break Ive taken from the blog since I started it a year ago. I have a million topics I could post, so many things happen all the time around here. The issue is time! I have no time! We’re making 99% of all our Christmas gifts for our family and friends this year so every day I’m sewing, wood working, baking, or doing some other craft. I would love to post more about the projects I’m doing but since all of my family reads this blog, I don’t want to give away what the gifts are. I do have some other things that I’ll post here soon if anyone is wanting to make gifts for their family and friends.

This week is Makenna’s birthday. Some how, she’s only turning 3. I swear she’s older but according to her birth certificate, she’s only turning 3. We’re having a Sponge Bob Square Pants party for her on Saturday and despite my general haterd of the place, we’re having the party at Peter Piper Pizza. I usually host all the kids parties at home or at my parents house but it’s suppose to rain this weekend and neither house is really great for an all indoor party. So, PPP it is.

Anthony’s birthday is next week, he’ll be turning 11. The party for Makenna is also his “family party” but then he’s having a bowling party with some of his guy friends. He’s in that awkward stage where a kids party isn’t really what he wants but he’s too young for “hanging-out.” He would prefer a sleep over full of Star Wars movies, popcorn and too much sugar but a few of his closest friends aren’t allowed to do sleepovers so that’s out.

When I started this blog I forgot about December, I forgot how absolutely busy this month is. Two of my three kids have birthdays, we have Santa visits, Christmas light tours, gift making, gift exchange parties, school parties, band concerts, class parties, out of town visitors and Christmas itself with all the cooking, baking, shopping, wrapping and decorating. I love it but its so overwhelming some times. So, sorry for absence in writing. One of these nights when I can’t sleep, I’ll finish some of the ½ written posts I have archived. J

Conversations with a 10 year old

Anthony is working studiously on his badges for Cub Scouts (Webelos actually) and is about to “Cross the Arrow of Light” into Boy Scouts. It’s a great tradition and something that we are all very proud of. Brad was a scout and so were many of Anthony’s grandparents.

Brad and Anthony were working on a scout badge the other night that revolved around personal safety. The pamphlet that they were working from is titled “How to Protect your Children from Child Abuse: A Parents Guide.” It truly is a great pamphlet that highlighted how to have conversations with your scout about appropriate relationships with adults and what child abuse is. In theory, I support awareness in hopes of prevention but I’ll admit it was very difficult to have these conversations with Anthony. In order to explain to him how to prevent child abuse in its various forms, including sexual, we had to explain to him what it is in the first place. He has never really had any reason to contemplate abuse in any form other than being upset at us for grounding him or a swat on the butt when he was younger.

Watching his face was a slow motion caption of heart break for me. He listened, then absorbed what we were saying, what cruelties could happen in the world to children at the hands of trusted adults. You could almost watch his mind come up with ‘real life’ scenarios for each of the atrocities he was learning about. It was painful.

I wanted to stop so bad and let him go on in his naive way, not knowing about the big bad world, thinking we, his parents and close family, could protect him from ever knowing these horrible things. I knew though, that, God forbid, he were ever exposed to any form of abuse, knowledge would be his power. By sheltering him from the very idea of child abuse I was making him that much more vulnerable. It haunted me though. I could see his wheels spinning and so badly wanted to see his visions, swear to him that I would never ever in a million years let them happen to him. Hug him tight and reassure him that these were just terrible things that happened to other people never ever to him but that’s not the way the world works and all I could do was remain calm, talk openly, objectively and at his level. We did our best to reassure him of his safety and inform him that his knowledge was his power. At the very end, before he bound off to go play legos, relatively unchanged by his passing thoughts, I did hug him, hard. I tried to convey every motherly protection mantra I was thinking into my hug. I’m sure, in his 10 year old mind he just though I was being mushy, but I slept a little better knowing I hugged him with everything I had after such a difficult conversation.