Magnetic Makeup Boards

Another Pinterest project realized! The idea was first pinned for my niece Alana, but then Sasha and I decided we wanted to make ourselves one too.

Once we got our ideas worked out, these were pretty easy to make. I had most of the materials except the steal sheets and magnets. Those we purchased at ACE. There were lots of options for steel sizes, thicknesses and even decoration but in the end, the best option (price, size and ease of framing) was from the hobby section. It's steal plates used for metal crafting.

Trust me when I say it's best to find a frame that fits your steal vs. trying to cut the steal your self. That or call ahead to your ACE and make sure they'll cut a custom size for you.

From there, the sky's the limit. You can:
Paint the steal and/or frame
Modge Podge pretty scrap book paper onto the steal and or frame
Cover the steal or frame with fabric
Add flowers, stickers or other embellishments

Next, lay out your makeup to make sure it all fits, then hot glue the magnets to the back.


We covered old pill bottles with our fabric/paper of choice and used that for our brushes. Also, I had. Few sheets of plastic canvas on hand so we painted that to match and used it to help organize our earing collections.


We all loved the final product and had a great time putting them together. I love the diversity too!

Making Memories (Spring Break 2012)

I took the kids on a little spring vacation this week. We drove up to Phoenix, went to the aquarium, walked the mall, then onto a hotel with a heated pool and the zoo the next day. It was absolutely wonderful. They had so much fun and I smiled so much my face was actually sore. My mom and G-ma went with us and then B-pa joined us for the zoo. Brad had to work, and although he would have enjoyed seeing the kids have so much fun, he doesn’t enjoy a hotel stay like I do and decided to stay home. (Something about having someone else make the bed for me is a HUGE appeal!)

I loved the aquarium, but I have always been fascinated with the ocean and sea life. The kids favorite part, by far, was the activities inside the mall.

This, a hamster ball thing inside a pool of water, was a riot to watch. Anthony went first then surprisingly Hailey wanted to go.

Makenna had her eyes on the merry-go-round.

 I posted on Facebook that this picture reminds me that I need to be more like her and find such pure joy in simple things. She was absolutely glowing the entire ride.

Anthony also got to jump on a trampoline with bungees attached to him that made him jump over 20ft off the ground.

Once the kids exhausted themselves in the pool after dinner (Rainforest café!) mom, G-ma and I were talking about memories. What do we remember from our childhood, do we remember any vacations, trips or special days?

I remember my mom taking me and my best friend, Becca, up to Pheonix for the night when I turned 13, she took us to a huge mall, let us get makeup, try on fun clothes and just have a great girls weekend. I remember taking a trip back east when I was about 10 years old, driving from Az to Chichago to visit some of my dad’s family. My mom read allowed to me for most of the trip. The book was Ken Follett’s Pillars of the Earth. I’ve loved his books ever since.

I have some very random memories of our first house here in Tucson, (I was born in Colorado and moved here when I was 2) and some more of the second house but most of the memories are snap shots of times that were ‘ordinary.’They’re every day type of memories: My first garden, a neighbor kid stapling a bit of his finger while my dad was on the phone, being sick with the flu and getting to sleep on the couch all night, things like that.

So, the conversation made me wonder, what will my kids remember? Will they remember this trip? Given that none of the 3 of us adults talking could specifically remember special events that our parents did for us; I’m guessing that they probably won’t.

At first, I was a bit upset by this realization. What’s the point if they won’t remember this? Isn’t part of the point in doing things like this to build memories? But then I got to thinking a bit more about what my mom said about all the things my parents did for me and how without even specifically remembering the events, I was doing similar things for my kids. On the drive up to Phoenix, I read out loud to Anthony (The Hunger Games), my leprechaun traditions stemmed from my mom doing similar things, cooking together, late night movies together, all those type of this are things I now do for my kids. So, maybe it’s not so much building memories, but traditions. It’s that whole ‘living by example.’ I’m the mom I am today because of the way I was raised.

I feel asleep with the thought that not only did we get to have fun with the kids but us adults will have this memory for a long time and the kids, though they may not remember later in life, will use these experiences with their children.

(Poetic huh! Did I mention we stayed at a hotel with an open happy hour? Oh, I missed that part, sorry.)

The next day we went to the Phoenix Zoo. I will say, I was really excited to see the zoo after I learned that it’s one of the top 10 in the nation, but, honestly, I didn’t enjoy it as much as I had hoped. First, we bought the “Wild admission” to give us extra access to certain events. I won’t do that again because it didn’t include the camel rides, and although the sting ray petting was cool, it’s not something I could see my kids wanting to do twice since there’s no time limit once you’re in. Second, if you’re going with kids, and let’s face it, most of us only go to the zoo with kids, go to the right first. The right side has the enchanted forrest, the merry-go-round, the petting zoo and the play farm. We, unfortunately, went to the left first. The left is mostly desert animals and a lot of walking between exhibits. Don’t get me wrong, the kids liked it, but by the time we got over to the ‘fun’ part, everyone was exhausted and out of energy.

The kids did like the cammel ride though. I loved that they all three wanted to ride together. That's so rare!

Needless to say, after two crazy days, the ride home was quiet! The kids couldn’t wait to tell dad all about their adventures and claimed it was “the bestest vacation eber!”

Taste the Rainbow!

I just love St. Patrick's day. It's one of my favorite holidays for the kids. Last year the leprechauns did their usual havoc: magically turning the milk green in the cereal bowls, green pee in the toilet, upturned furniture and they left green and gold treats. The best part last year was when the leprechauns magically turned the cookies green right before our eyes. (You can check out the video and green cereal milk trick here)
This year, I'm sure will be just as fun. Although, for the first time ever, Anthony won't be home. He has a camping trip with Brad. It makes me sad but he's already talking about the mischief the leprechauns are going to cause when he gets home, as revenge. (For the record, he's right,I have so much planned! I have to capitalize on every year he still believes.)


Today the girls (my niece Alana included) made rainbow cookies. I'll admit, I'm usually one to say "It's easy!" "Oh, they were no big deal to make!" These, on the other hand, were a lot of work for simple cookies!

Ingredients
2 pkgs Betty Crocker sugar cookie mix
2 eggs
2 sticks butter
1/2 cup flour
Gel food colorings

Mix the cookie mix according to the package. Using a scale, divide the dough into 6 equal portions. Place each portion in a zip top bag and add a tsp of the food coloring to each bag. Remember, purple is red and blue, orange is yellow and red. The zip top bag lets you mix in the food coloring with out staining your hands.

Now comes the tedious part.

Place one color on a piece of parchment paper and roll out to a 9x5 rectangle. Place onto a cookie sheet, including the parchment. On a new sheet, roll out the next color and once into the appropriate size, stack it, parchment included onto the previous color. Roll out all 6 colors the same way. When you're done you'll have a stack of: parchment, dough, parchment, dough, etc..

Place in the freezer for 20-30 min's.

Remove and onto a new sheet of parchment, start assembling your rainbow. Purple, blue, green, yellow, orange then red.




Using a sharp knife, trim the edges so you have straight edges. Then, decide how large you want your cookies and slice long ways, then short ways into cookies.




Place back into the freezer for another 10 min's then into a 375 degree oven for 8 min's. Switching racks at 4 min's. The extra freeze time helps reduce spreading.

First day

Today was the girls first time at “school.”

I enrolled them into a daycare/preschool for every Monday while I go into work. They will just be going on Mondays for the first half of the day but it’s a good experience for them. Hailey has wanted to go to school for over a year now. She’s was so upset when she heard Sara, my niece, was going to school. Hailey cried! “Mom, why does Sara get to go to school, I’m OLDER than her!” So, Friday, when I took them to Sara’s school to enroll they both were thrilled! Hailey kept telling everyone all weekend that she was “Finally old enough for preschool!”

They did great today. Kenna and Sara are in the same class and Hailey is in the 4-5’s. At first I was a bit worried about Hailey being separated from the girls and I asked that she be allowed to stay with the younger class for a bit to get used to it if she needed to. The teacher said though that when it was time to separate, Hailey was fine going to her “big girl class.”

Last night, despite telling everyone in the store all day Sunday about going to school, Hailey had a total melt down. She was crying for over 2 hours before we could get her calmed down. She started out by asking me:

“Mom, can I get up early tomorrow so you can teach me my letters and numbers?” I told her that she wasn’t expected to know them before she went to preschool, that’s what preschool was for, to help her learn. I think she understood that, but it was just a gateway for her tears. She started  crying and crying saying she was going to miss us too much, she didn’t want to go. She kept repeating over and over that she just wanted to stay home with her family. We tried everything from 4 year old logic to reasoning with her, eventually, watching Phineas and Ferb while cuddled in our bed with us did the trick. She woke up the next morning back to her chipper excited self.

Poor girl was plagued by the night time-worries just like us adults get. Lights go off, brain goes on. At least, in my case that’s true. Maybe she’s just a victim of genetics. Regardless, she survived to tell the tale and is, for now, super excited to go back next Monday.

I was supposed to go to Phoenix this week but fortunately (and a bit unfortunately – I was kind of looking forward to housekeeping service) that’s been canceled so, we’ll spend this week getting ready for those naughty Leprechauns! We are going to make a trap to try and catch one, and we have a few other crafts we’re going to do this week. I love St Patrick’s Day! It’s so much fun for the kids.

Grief

Grief is a strange monster.

I am still processing Ty's death. (It still even feels strange to write that sentence.) It's not like this is my first experience of death of a loved one either. We lost Pappy last year and 5 years ago we lost Papa. Yet, Ty's death feels harder for me to process. I am functioning fine, my house is clean (ish), my kids/hubby are happy, food's on the table and everything is going fine at work. Yet, 4 times now, I've woken up in the middle of the night crying from some dream related to Ty. Maybe I'm not processing it as well as I think I am.

Part of it I know is that I am not in 'action' mode. When Pappy and Papa died it was a slow process filled with hours of bed-side grieving and affairs to wrap up. After they passed we had houses to clean out, funerals to plan, family surrounding us. With Ty, I'm not a part of any of that. I didn't really know his family and we did not have any real mutual friends. A few mutual acquaintances have contacted me to share stories and condolences but most are from so far back in my past it's hard to connect with them. One person, who was an employee of mine and eventually Ty's as well sent me a message saying how grateful he was for the second chance Ty and I gave him many years ago that set him on a better path in life. It was all Ty, he was the heart, I was the business. He kept me grounded when I would fly off the handle. He taught me to always listen first, react second. A lesson I still struggle with today.

I've thought about reaching out to Ty's family more than just the condolence notes I've sent but I feel like I would just be an interloper in their grief. I doubt they know more than my name from a passing reference and the only stories I could share echo all the stories from all the other lives Ty touched. In other words, I don't feel like reaching out to his family would benefit them and I in no way want to remind, distract from or add to their grief. After all, they lost a son, brother, grandson, nephew and uncle in a quick, illogical, tragic death. The best remedy for them is family. That's what got me through Papa and Pappy's deaths.

For me, I guess this is a lesson in processing. Grief happens. Tragedy strikes. I guess, if I'm being optimistic about it, or more true to Ty's style: realistic about it. This is my lesson on processing grief mentally only. I don't have the chance to go into 'do-er' mode and process my grief through functional physical activities. As usual, Ty's teaching me a lesson I don't want but obviously and desperately need.
Thanks a lot punk!

Miss you.

Failed February

Not just fail, Epic Fail!

This whole month has been a basic loss for me. I injured my shoulder during a workout on the 25^th of January, had to take some time to heal from that, started work (in-office) on the 1^st till the 10^th, lost one of my dear friends on the 14^th, got ridiculously sick on the 17^th, and lastly, had a very busy whole weekend of work starting the 24^th. To say that I’ve done much more than the bare minimums for the entire month would be pretty much a lie. Valentine’s day and the day before were the only truly functional days I can think of.

February was supposed to also be my month to commit to doing a load of laundry every day. Let’s just say, no. That didn’t happen. I started out ok when I started my new job, but honestly, by midweek the 2^nd week, I wasn’t staying on top of it. I thought I would just skim past the few days until I was done at the office and pretend I did the laundry every day those days. No one would know but me right? Except then, Ty died, I was grieving and basically just sat on the couch with my kids all day. Then I got sick. So sick. Sicker than I’ve been in years upon years. My chest hurt so bad I couldn’t move for fear of it causing me to have to take more than a shallow breath. I ended up in urgent care with a 102 fever, a sinus and ear infection and the RSV chest infection. Then, as any mom could predict: the kids and the hubby. I spent the entire week in the recliner; I even slept there because I couldn’t lay down flat without a huge coughing spell. Fortunately the kids didn’t get it as bad as I did, they were over it in 3 days, and so was Brad. I think, because I was depressed, it just hit me full force. Even now, I still have a cough and a dry throat.

From the 18^th when I got sick to the24th when I was on call for a very busy weekend, the only things that got washed were the vomit clothes and towels, dirty blankets, dishes (thanks mostly to Anthony and Brad) and occasionally, the countertop was wiped down.  Brad helped out so much but he wasn’t feeling great and had a lot of work to catch up on himself since he took several days off to either take care of me or lay in bed himself.

Monday of this week was the first day since the 15^th, I’ve felt good. I am finally starting to get my house back in order. The curtains and windows are open; I’ve killed an entire thing of Lysoll, Tide and Dawn.

Needless to say, as far as goals go, I haven’t been to the gym since last month, I haven’t written in my journal at all this month and I’d be lucky to count 10 total loads of laundry done this month. 

Epic fail.

It sucks, but, really, I think I’m ok with it. I’m just scratching the month off as a total loss and moving on. I can't change it, I can't go back and do-over any of the things I should have done and lying about it doesn't change anything or make me feel any better. I honestly thought about crossing off the ‘load of laundry per day’ on my list as a loss or fail too but instead I’m moving it to March. I made these goals to stretch myself, to make myself do something ‘more’ than my norm. Checking it off as a fail, would be my norm. Moving it to March would be pushing myself. So, that’s what I’m going to do.

Here’s hoping that March is much better than February. I want to do some crafty stuff this month, I want to come up with some new recipes and I want to finish up my craft space. No one is making me, no one cares if I don’t, these are things I want to do. Things that make me happy and that I enjoy doing. I just have to remember that. Remember that if I don’t get to those things one day it’s not a big deal, they are fun, extra, “love your life” things that I want to do. My real goals for the month are to get back to the gym, do one load of laundry a day and have fun with my family. Those are things I have to do, those are what I will push myself every day to accomplish.

Lost

It’s rare that I’m at a loss for words. I am usually too verbose for my own good. Right now though, I’m struggling with writing this down. I’m struggling with putting into words the feelings I’m fighting. And I’m fighting them so hard, I don’t want these feelings of sadness, grief, anger, loss and heartbreak.

A few weeks ago, in this post, I talked a tad about my ‘other lifetime’ when I was working at the call center and how much I loved it. One of the reasons I loved it so much was the people. The friends and mentors I met and had along the way. From all those years ago (almost 10 years now) only one person has remained in my life. His name was Ty.

I called him Tyco. I can’t exactly tell you why I called him Tyco I do distinctly remember however, that we came up with it late, very late, one night while we were working together with our mentor, Joel, sitting in his office. I don’t remember anymore what the nick name referred to other than I think it was something to do with Legos and Tonka trucks. What I do remember, is laughing. Laughing so hard someone fell out of their chair. Ever since then, Ty has been Tyco. He’s programed that way into my address book, cell phones and tagged as such in any photos.

Back in that other lifetime, we worked side by side for 2 years. We started out hating each other, as was the case with both of us, you either liked us or hated us. It just so happened we started out as each other’s competition and were very much alike so, we hated each other. Until we were forced to work together, then we realized just how much we were alike. We bonded on that deep, nothing on the surface in common, everything that matters alike, kind of way. He understood me so completely, more than any friend ever had. He said the same of me although I know he held many people close to his heart. We remained each other’s competition yet we worked together to help the other one achieve their goals and we always watched out for each other in that cut-throat environment.

Tyco has been there for me, and I pray I was there for him, at all the important times in our lives. He was the only one Brad would trust to talk to when I was hospitalized after my burn out in the call center. He was there the day Hailey was born and came to see me right after Makenna was born. Since our call center days, when, as he put it: I was domesticated. Our differences grew greater and greater but, in some ways, that made us closer. Our friendship was no longer based on locations, common friends or co-workers; it was just about supporting each other.

When Hailey was 6 weeks old, she was admitted to the hospital for viral meningitis.  I was staying round-the-clock with her. It was 11 or so at night and I was texting Tyco to update him on the situation. I mentioned how much the TV options sucked, next thing I know, he was sneaking into our room with supplies. He showed up with my favorite snacks, a coffee, his portable DVD player, a stack of his favorite chick-flicks and some trash magazines.

I could go on and on about the large and small, impactful and memorable times in my life that my Tyco was there for me. We didn’t always talk often, but we talked whenever one of us needed to.  Most recently, he gave me a glowing recommendation for my new job.  In his words, he “lied through his teeth.” His sense of humor was always jarring and would grab at your vulnerability’s and exploit them until he made you laugh at yourself. I mentioned him in this post: The Ability to Change. I compared him to Cher. Yea Cher. He laughed his ass off at it. Ironically, in that piece, I called him the Cher and me Sonny, saying that I was the now responsible minded individual and he, the Cher, was still out rocking the world. Now, tragically, it’s a bit more reversed than that. He’s more like Sonny. A life cut short by a tragic accident.

My Tyco was killed Valentines night in a one car rollover accident.

I’m still in shock.

I just happened to be reading the AZ Daily Star on my ipad Wednesday afternoon after spending most of the morning with my mom-in-law showing her some things on Facebook and working on a document with her. While I was flipping through the Star, I saw Ty’s full name: Gregory Ty Fitzgerald. I thought, (stupidly) “how strange, the same name as Tyco!” The article said: “Name of car crash victim released.” Again, I’m not sure why I was so stupid, but it didn’t register with me that it actually was my Tyco. I called him. Or, I tried, it went straight to voice mail. I was going to tell him someone with his name died in a car accident the previous night. So naïve I know, I don’t know what I was thinking. Eventually, after reading the full article (Gregory Ty Fitzgerald, 28, 2008 Pathfinder, etc…) I put it together. I flipped over to his Facebook page to find it a living book of memorials.

I lost it.

I called his (ex)boyfriend and we just cried together on the phone.

Ever since then, I’ve had a really hard time dealing with it. I want to call Tyco and gossip about this, as if it’s not him that was buried on Monday. Aside from Brad, he would be the only person who understands how impactful this is for me.

His family is all in New Mexico, he moved out here 10 years ago alone (well, with a friend but not with family) so his body was flown back to his family for burial in his home town.

It’s just surreal. I still, even after typing all this, feel completely at a loss for words. I can’t believe my Tyco is gone.

Tyco is gone.

I love you forever my friend. My Tyco.

Not his Valentine

Isn't this a cute Teddy bear? A Teddy bear holding roses, wearing a golden locket necklace? A perfect Valentines gift.

Sadly, it's not for me.

After spending 20 min's in Walgreens picking out these three things (including "her" favorite candy) he came home, carefully unwrapped everything, took the tags off, put the necklace on the bear and then wrapped it all up.

He, is Anthony, my 11 year old (11!, 5th Grade!) and the "she" is his secret crush. I had to take him to school extra early today so he could sneak it into her classroom and put it on her desk before anyone saw him. No note, no indication that it's from him except, according to him, his attempt at making absolutely no direct eye contact with her today. As if that would be a dead giveaway.

I remember 5^th grade. I woke up Valentines morning after dreaming of this very scenario, a secret crush leaving me a thoughtful gift I could treasure for a life time. Unfortunately, it never happened, I never had a secret admirer. I was a bit more ‘outgoing’ for anything to be secret about me. My son however, it seems, is that boy, to some girl. Some girl who probably woke up this morning from the same style dream I had many years ago but, unlike me, she walked into the classroom today and found a well wrapped cute, memorable and thoughtful gift from a secret admirer waiting for her.

Knowing 5^th grade girls, she probably died of embarrassment. (And is hopefully cuddled up with the teddy bear, wearing her locket, right now.) J

Peanut Butter Hearts (Reese's style)

Happy Valentines Day!

Brad loves Reeses peanut butter cups so for Valentines day I decided to try and make him some homemade ones. I saw this recipe on line (Yea, via pintrest, isn't everything via pintrest these days?) and decided to try it out.

These are....AMAZING! Better than Reeses, sorry, but true.

Ingredients:

1 1/2 C Peanut Butter - creamy is our choice

3 C Powder Sugar

1 C Cake flour*

1/4 C butter

6 Tbsp milk

In your mixer, mix the peanut butter, butter, powder sugar and flour until its a coarse mixture. Then add the milk a tablespoon at a time until the dough comes together into a play dough consistency.

*The first batch I made with 4 cups of powdered sugar but I didn’t care for the taste, so the second batch I substituted 1 cup with the cake flour. The second batch was much better in my opinion; it was sweet but did not have the ‘chemical’ taste like the first batch. Cake flour is softer than all-purpose flour but I would think you could use all-purpose if you wanted.

Taking out about 1/4 cup at a time, roll the dough out to about a 1/2 inch thick. Any thinner and they don't stand up to the chocolate. I found it was also easier to work with only a 1/4 cup of the dough at a time, any more and they were hard to pry off the counter top. It helps to sprinkle some powder sugar or flour down before you roll it out. Place the peanut butter hearts on a cookie sheet lined with parchment or saran wrap. Freeze for at least 30 min's.

Usually I buy chocolate bark for all my "coated" projects but this time I wanted these to be as close to the real thing as possible so I bought several Hersheys bars to melt instead. 'Nuke them in a microwave safe bowl for 10 seconds at a time until smooth. Then, dunk the frozen peanut butter heart in and flip over with a fork.

Gently bang the fork on the side of the bowl to knock off some of the excess chocolate. Scrape the back of the fork over the edge of the bowl then transfer the heart to another lined cookie sheet.

Add sprinkles or chopped nuts.

These are seriously so delish! However, because of the Hershey's chocolate they do melt quickly so keep them in the fridge, if they last past the first serving.

Happy Valentine’s Day!

Family Village

Thanks to my fantastic family, we all survived this last 8 days of me at work. You know the phrase: “it takes a village…” Well, I’m lucky enough to be surrounded by a village. My mom and step-dad watched the big kids every day after school and the little girls almost every other day. My sis-in-law and mom-in-law took a day each to watch the little girls and Brad even took a day to work from home. My dad and step-mom even helped out all the way from Texas! Even non family members, our best friends (family of our hearts), helped out tremendously. I feel so blessed. I never had to worry about the kids, where they were or if they were ok.

They had a blast every day! Picnics, McDonnalds, trips to the Park, sleep-overs, art projects, treasure hunts and rocket building. I tried to have a crock-pot meal ready to go every day so whenever we got home we had a good home cooked meal ready for us. By about Wednesday I kind of petered out. I was tired, cranky and ready to just be home. As it happens, that was the day of my first paycheck, so I treated us all to sushi and pizza. (Lovely combo huh! It made the car stink! But I wanted to treat Anthony too and he doesn’t like sushi.) Despite the great dinner and my blast to clean up the house, Thursday wasn’t any easier. Never the less, I survived Thursday made it to Friday and rewarded us with dinner out and a movie.

The question everyone kept asking me was if this time in the office was making me want to go back to work? In truth, I never wanted to be a stay at home mom. Years ago (I call it another life time) I was a big-wig at a call center dealing with fortune 500 companies. I loved it, absolutely loved it and miss it often. The problem is, I can’t do anything ½ way. Its genetic. I can only give all of myself to something, not parts. So, back then, I worked 12-14 hrs a day and over 80 hours a week including weekends. I hardly ever saw my family and was not the mom I should have been to Anthony, nor the wife I should have been for Brad. Thankfully, again, my village pitched in a raised Anthony into the beautiful spirit he is today.

 After 5 years of running at full steam, I crashed.  My marriage was on the rocks, my son and I weren’t connected the way we should be, my extended family barely knew me anymore and my health was severely lacking.

It took me a few years to recover. Wondering thru my life trying to figure out if I could balance who I wanted to be and who I was in a working environment. I tried staying home during that time and ended up sleeping more often than anything so that wasn’t healthy. I went to massage school for a year, loved it, but never pursued my license.  Massage school was the equivalent of my college experience that I never had but working in the plinky-plunky, touchy-feely environment just didn’t appeal to me on a long term basis. So, I was still wondering.

Eventually I had to get another job, so I found one that had no room for advancement, no corporate ladder available and had set hours that were worthless to work past since no one, ever, anywhere, ever did. As I’m sure you could guess, I hated it, it was boring, pointless.

Then, in 2007, my life changed dramatically. I got the chance to start over. The chance to do it right. I became a mother to a second baby and, 16 months after that, a 3^rd baby. It wasn’t until the girls were born that I felt like I fit in my world again. Starting from the beginning of the girls childhood allowed me to grow into the mother roll that I always felt like I missed. I am able to connect with Anthony more now than I ever feel like I did before. Being a stay at home mom to multiple kids was and is what my spirit was looking for.

All of that long story being said, the answer to the question is yes, I want to go back to work. Someday. Right now, my place is here at home with my kids and I love that I can do it. The on Call job I started 5 years ago has given me the perfect balance between keeping a pay check, being able to help clients yet keep my focus completely on my family. Going into this new job, working in the office for the last 8 days has been fun and renewing to my worker spirit but I have no desire, yet, to stay in an office. The nice thing about my new company is that when I’m ready, there are a million places I can go. I can go into any one of the 20 local offices, pick up more offices for on call or even transfer to another state if I ever wanted to.

For now, I’m so grateful to have the opportunity to stay home with my kids, run my house and give my all to being a 1950’s housewife, all while working a worthy job that helps financially support the family. It’s my time in life to be a part of the village, not rely on it.

The first day

Shh! Its 5:45am and my house is serenely quiet. Everyone but me is still asleep, blissful unaware of the day yet to come. I have exactly 45 min.’s until Anthony and Brad’s alarm goes off and 50 min.’s until the girls are up. Then, their little worlds will switch to upside down mode. I start my new job today. I prepared everything I could last night so that we could be quick and efficient this morning without yelling or stressing about running behind. Outfits are picked out and stacked neatly in the bathroom, showers and baths were taken last night, tonight’s dinner is ready in the crock pot and lunches are made.

Yesterday didn’t go exactly as I planned. Instead of the final prep for this next week of in-office work, I spent most of the day at the Chiropractor and Urgent Care. I sprained one of my right shoulders rotator cuff muscles.  It’s not a bad injury, it will heal, it’s just painful! Oh, and the main style of movement I’m not supposed to do is lift a phone to my ear. Nice huh? On the up side, the girls spent the day with Aunt Sasha and had a blast. They went to the park and ran a few errands and got spoiled by everyone they encountered.

Once I finally got home, I noticed that Hailey was really quiet. I thought maybe she was just tired from running around with Sara and Kenna all morning so I just let her be. Finally, once we were home from running our errands, I asked her if she was ok? She looked up at me with an almost blank expression. Then, the giant crocodile tears started to fall down her face.

“I don’t want you to go away Mom, I don’t want you to go to a new job, I want you to stay home with me.”

Ugh.

All she’s ever known is me at home. I’ve done the on call job since she was 6 weeks old. The last time I had to go into an office she was too little to even know. So, we sat down together and made a calendar of the next two weeks. We mapped out where she would be, who she would be with and when Mommy would be home. We drew happy faces on the weekends, talked about when I would pick her up each night and all the fun things she’s going to get to do with her family while I’m at work. The calendar is taped on her door and she gets to mark off each day so she knows what her next day is.

It’s funny how much of an impact me being at home has on a whole range of people. Being my normal OCD self, I’ve created a schedule for the next few weeks. It’s a day by day, hour by hour schedule of who is where, when and how everyone’s getting to their spots. Sounds a bit anal for even me but there are a total of 13 people’s lives that are affected by this. I’ve discovered that I’m a stay at home mom to more than just my 3 kids.  A lot more people rely on my open availability, my flexibility in schedule and reliability in being home whenever I’m needed.

We’ll survive. It only for two weeks.

Now, its 6:15 and I need to go try to dry my hair with my left hand and figure out how to put make up on left handed. Wish me luck! I have this vision of myself at the office today with messy-ratted hair, buttons misaligned, make up smudged in all the wrong places, pacing up and down the break room reassuring my children that I will be home in 5 hours….4 hours…3 hours….

Somehow much closer to luke-warm mess than I will ever be to hot mess.

My not-so-secret Secret

For some reason, last year when I started this blog, I neglected to mention one small detail of my life and as the blog went on it became more difficult to just add that detail back in. The detail is about my ‘other’ job; as if being a full time stay-at-home June Clever-esk mom isn’t work enough. I am also, an On-call Scheduling Coordinator for a home health care agency. Basically, when the office closes at 5pm, they roll the phones over to my cell phone and I take any calls that come in up until 8am the next morning. I take calls from anyone that calls any of our 6 offices. Sometimes its clients needing additional services, sometimes its caregivers canceling off of a scheduled shift, and sometimes its junk calls that do not require any action. I’m responsible for rescheduling and staffing any clients in need. I don’t personally go out to anyone I simply call the available caregivers to staff the open shift.

It is truly the ideal job. I get to stay at home with my kids and get paid 40 hours a week. Thanks to modern technology (and a techie husband) I can practically do my job anywhere there’s a cell signal and or wi-fi. I started out 5 years ago working weekends only. Friday 5pm until Sunday 5pm. Then, after a few years, I switched over to the week nights, Sunday through Thursday 5pm till 8am. Sometimes I’d get woken up in the middle of the night with a call but it was a rare occurrence. Just like any job sometimes its all-consuming and sometimes its slower. Well, recently, the last year or so, it’s been slower and slower and slower. So much so that I was actually let go about 8 months ago. So many of my co-workers fought tooth and nail for me to keep my job though that I was hired back on a week later. I was so grateful to my coworkers that fought for me but I was hired back at reduced hours and reduced pay. Since then I’ve been keeping an eye out for another job but this type of job is rare. Usually if an on call job opens up someone from inside the office jumps on the opportunity to work from home and the job posting never sees the light of day.

I'm not really sure why I have never mentioned it before. Everyone that knows me in person knows about my other job but I just never put it down on paper, so-to-speak. I guess maybe because this blog was designed to highlight my life as a stay-at-home mom so I kept my career out of it. However, it’s such a part of my life that I should have documented it as well. This job is what helps support me staying at home with the kids, it helps pay the bills, pay for the vacations and feeds my Starbucks addiction. It also can consume my nights when its busy. I've spent nights locked in my room on the phone and computer making Brad deal 100% with the kids while I deal with a crash call. I've had mornings when I'm woken up at 4am with calls and have to rely on Anthony to help get the girls ready while I calm down panicked clients and corral wild caregivers.

A few weeks ago, after yet another cut in my pay from my current company, I happened to stumble across an On Call position posted on Craigslist. Needless to say, I jumped on the opportunity to explore the position. I’ve been interviewing with the new company for almost two weeks now and was offered the position last Friday. Today, I tendered my resignation with my current company and accepted the position with the new company. Despite the reduced days, hours and pay, I hate leaving my current company. I have been with this company through thick and thin and am not the type of person to leave when times are tough. However, I’ve stuck it out for a little over a year of lean times watching my position be whittled away piece by piece and the truth of it is I have to do what’s best for my family. My salary was never something that Brad and I had to have to make our bills but it was what we used for our weekly groceries, savings and fun money. As my pay slowly started to disintegrate, so did our savings and extra activities. If I can help it, that’s now how I want to live our lives. I’m so grateful that Brad has a stable well-paying job that can completely support us in all the critical ways but I want to be able to enjoy the extra’s in life too.

That being said, it’s not worth it for me to go into an office to work. The daycare cost for the kids is astronomical. Brad and I decided when Hailey was born that I was going to be a stay at home mom. It’s something we feel is important to the mental and emotional health of all of our kids. The On Call job is the ideal way to meld both worlds. I get to bring home a paycheck every week that helps us enjoy the fun things in life as well as ease some of the financial stress and I get to stay home with the kids.

I will be starting my new job in the next week or so and will have to go into the office for 1-2 weeks for training. Fortunately we are surrounded by family who will help watch the kids (the girls particularly) while I am in the office but it will be a BIG change and require a TON of juggling. Five years ago when I started the other job my sister-in-law Monica was living here in town, between jobs herself and was kind enough to come live at my house for 2 weeks while I trained. She is now married, has two kids of her own, is enrolled in the military and lives out of state so, that’s no longer an option. This time, Brad and I will be driving the kids between my mom and step-dad and my mom-in-law and my sister-in-law’s homes for the next few weeks.

My anxiety is already sky high just thinking about juggling it all. I seriously don’t know how other mom’s do it all the time. I am working on a meal plan for the two weeks, a school schedule, a laundry rotation, driving schedule, sleepover schedule, homework help schedule plus back up plans if anything changes. I think I may be starting on Wednesday of this week (two days from now!) so I have a TON to get ready.

Any advice from you mommas that work full time? How do you do it?

Almost done

My 'monthly resolution' for February is to do a complete load of laundry every day. (Have I mentioned how much I LOATH laundry? Yea, loath, hate isn't strong enough of a word.) My January resolution is to clean out a purge every space in my house. So far, I've purged the kids room, my room, my kitchen and most recently, in preparation for February, my laundry room and linen closet.

With the motivational help of my task master momma (Seriously, if I could rent out her crafting, organizational and motivational skills we'd be rich. For now, I'm just very grateful!) we gutted the laundry room, scrubbed every surface, re-arranged the washer, added a shelf, painted and made cute boxes for storage. It also took 17 loads of laundry at the laundry mat just to get to the floor!

After (but not quite complete)


I have been saving this ugly mirror for years and years. I loved the idea of it but it wasn't exactly my style. So, instead, I took the mirror out, repainted the frame and hand-painted a canvas with saying I found on Pintrest.*

Before



After (it's hard to see in this light but the frame is purple!)


And here's the linen closet after 2 garbage bag full of blankets donated to Goodwill.





*Have you found Pintrest.com yet? Go, now, trust me. But, don't blame me if you get lost in it for hours, or create a to-do list a mile long.